Kollapsnik Kitten comes to Breakfast at Tiffany’s

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Published on The Doomstead Diner on August 28, 2016

 

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One of my neighbors recently got a kitten which they are keeping as an "outside cat".  He (or she, I haven't checked the gonads) wanders around and shows up on my porch regularly when I go out for a smoke to further destroy my lungs.

This has been going on for the last week, and I chat with the Kollapse Kitten when it jumps my fence and arrives, scoping out the 100 or so square feet of the porch area.  KK does not have much to say to me so far but is a good listener while I have a smoke.  Hopefully if I keep talking it will learn English and perhaps be able to communicate with me telepathically.

The trick though has been to keep KK from actually getting INSIDE my digs, which are PRIVATE PROPERTY!  If I leave the back door open, KK can sneak in, and I don't want to be cleaning up kitten poop or kitten piss in the digs!  I have been successful in this battle this week up until tonight.  Tonight when I opened the door to the porch to go out and poison myself further with Nicotine, KK slipped by me to head inside and investigate my digs.

Fortunately, KK seems to trust me so capturing her and picking her up to pitch back out the door was not too hard on this occassion, but my guess is if the little devil keeps at it this won't be so EZ in the future.  There are tons of places in my digs I cannot get to easily that this quick little monster can.  I am also not exactly really fast these days.

I do enjoy talking to KK on the porch, but I don't want the animal trapped in my digs when I go to sleep.  I will try to get a picture of him/her in the next couple of days, I am quite sure more return visits will come so this won't be too hard.

———–

KK's got U by the shorthairs my friend.
Whose training whom emotionally ?   :icon_scratch:
U need a captive audience during smoke break time…..

I've decided to name her/him Kollpsnik.  :icon_sunny:

Kollapsnik did not show up for my first smoke break of the day today.  :(  Must be bizzy exploring elsewhere in the complex.  Kittens have very bizzy lives.

I like having a pet I don't have to take care of, feeding, cleaning the litter box, taking to the vet etc.  This is like having all the best parts of having a pet with none of the work.  ;D

RE

I'm sure KK feels the same way about U 2 …… BAH HAHAHAHAH

When I sit out on the back patio here at Kathy's place & watch all of nature frolic in the living desert
during my smoke break I get the same enjoyment.

Must be the resonant connection involved. The speed & pulse of nature vs. the speed & pulse of biz i ness …..  :icon_sunny:

————

From Palloy

I've never met a cat that would reliably "Come here", but they do respond to the sound of food being tipped in to their bowl.  So I suggest you get a resealable bag of kibble and a metallic bowl, and always put it down outside.

The Dog and the Cat

And Adam and Eve said,
“Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day.
Now we do not see you any more.
We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you loved us.”

And God said, “No problem!
I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever
and who will be a reflection of my love for you,
so that you will love me even when you cannot see me.

Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be,
this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do,
in spite of yourselves.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve, and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the kingdom
and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.
And God said, “No problem!
Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you,
his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him Dog.”

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said,
“ Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride.
They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration.
Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.”

And God said, “No problem!
I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever
and who will see them as they really are.
The companion will remind them of their limitations,
so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.”

And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them.

And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes,
they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility, and they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy and wagged his tail.
And Cat didn’t care one way or the other.

– Anonymous

—————

I was meaning to ask you about the outdoor pet thing
in winter up there.

Surely the neighbor's aren't going to leave that poor cat
out side when it's snowing & blowing ?
If that's their intention, knowing you, you'll let Kollapsnik in your Mchuvell
at least until the storm passes. Right ?

I'm sure they keep their back door open so it can travel in and out at will during the good weather.  It will probably stay inside most of the time when it is cold.

I certainly would not let it freeze to death like a homeless cripple kitten on the streets of Palmer, Alaska.

 

 

RE

 

 

——————-

KK hears me come outside and jumps up on her fence.

KK-1

I invite her over to discuss Kollapse issues

KK-2

KK Prowls the Porch to make sure everything is in order

KK-3

KK-4

KK-5

KK-6

Smoke Break over, time to go home

KK-7

"Hasta la Pasta, RE" says KK.  Those were her first English words I received telepathically!

KK-8

 

 

 

 

2 Responses to Kollapsnik Kitten comes to Breakfast at Tiffany’s

  • EtyerePetyere says:

    Housecats kill millions of songbirds annually they are a terrible menace for the environment . This Human induced breeding and keeping and sheltering them gives them triple the lifetime compared what they should have in the wild , Nothing cute or good about them no wonder that since kollapsnik slowed down i.e.  peak oil dead , and the ice caps didnt melt down probably the only audience for collapse left is a damn cat 

  • Alan says:

    I train cats to catch those doggone sky-rats; best sport EVAH… then on fresh baked bread, blackbird relish.

    A good kitten with some training in eye-claw coordination and in kittenastics becomes an adult to respect; capable of leaps that frighten falcons and mortify doves. At least they take personal responsibility (if not an embarrassing pride) in their kills. No droning on about surprise at death. Want to control the end of the world?

    Fix the problem, and not the symptom.

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