Category5

C5 Builds a Wall

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Published on The Doomstead Diner on April 18, 2018

Image result for woven willow fence

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C5 Says, Build Me A Wall! Permaculture Style

wall 1

With your rather obsessive host, Category5.

I try to do one or two, ridiculous, over the top, excessive projects each year that make people question my sanity. This year is no different. What challenge have I presented for myself this season? I plan on building an impenetrable fence.  Acres and achres of fence. My only building material? Willow Sticks. Oh, And I only have about a month and a half of the right weather to do it in. And…I will have to wait about five years to see the results. No biggy.

Why would I do this to myself? It has been an ongoing, ESSENTIAL problem to solve. A task for the Dark Green Mountain Survival Research Centre. How does one make essential fencing in a time when, post peak industrial empire, store bought, expensive, fencing is no longer available, either because of an abrupt stop to resource and energy input supplies to create such products…or… a slow hollowing out of the economy where you can no longer afford to buy such products… or… of Bank Overlord debt financing  to buy such items dries up or collapses… or… one day you just wake up and say to yourself, “Well, its just stupid to get into umteen thousands of dollars in debt for something that is just going to break down anyhow, while I am spending my life at a job I don’t want to be at to pay for it all”.

Fixing fencing in the spring is an, every year, heavy duty job for any farmer. I have fence repair to do myself… in my ample free time. Snark.

I really am working my way around to talking about solving fencing issues buy growing a LIVING FENCE. Specifically, a WILLOW fence, One where the materials are free and will get stronger over time while other fences get weaker over time. A post apocalyptic WALL. “We Are Going To Build A Wall”. I am going all Trump on your ass this year without spending the gross national product, Permaculture Style. Too bad I cant make the U.S. pay for my wall.

I’m also going all Survival advice from Monty Python, this round.

So, I have an impossible job to do, armed only with a herring.

Well, a herring, loppers, clippers, a hammer and a roof rack on our disposable Honda Civic, to tie all the willow onto from ditches, far and wide (more on turning a small car into a truck another time)

(April 6th) Its spring. At least what passes for spring here. The sun has come out today. I step out of the house, survey the doomstead, take a deep breath and say….

“What a shit hole!”

With the snow gone, everything is brown as nothing is growing yet, I notice every pile of recyclable materials, indistinguishable from garbage piles, everything that didn’t get put away, every good idea that didnt quite work, everything that broke, rotted, rusted or got over grown, all the wasted effort that now needs to be fixed, moved out of the way, torn down, replaced or thrown out.

I begin to throw myself at a project, then go, “Its too fucking cold. I’m going back inside”.

I know I need to psyche myself up. I know I need to go from a winter full stop to hitting the ground running, hoping this isn’t the year I give myself a heart attack  or injure myself badly.

We have gone through the snow season, are about to move into the mud season, followed by the biting bug season and then the too hot to do shit season. The fall is the only really nice season here when it would be nice to be all nature guy but that is also the busy season of harvest and the race to prepare for the next 6 months of cold.

Now, doesn’t going back to nature sound all romantic.

We have interviewed alot of people that wanted to live here. We often heard, “I just want to live a simple life, close to nature, and eat healthy food”.

We roll our eyes and think to ourselves, “Well, that would be nice. Maybe we should move to the city where that idea is appealing, go on camping trips a few times a year and have parks to walk in, while going to trendy, financially successful farmers markets that only work because of the excess wealth.”

Oh, stop being all judgy, Other C5. You had the same romanticism before Mother Nature stuck her strap on up the poop shoot of life.

I hear ya, Other C5.

(April 8th) I cut willow today. Its seems a bit early but its going to be a huge job

cuttings

(April 9th) Another Day. Another Snow Storm. Good thing MrsC5 moved the car down to the road last night… and that the high, destructive winds hit further north. Its one of the reasons we are doing this. Global Warming doesn’t necessarily mean warm. It means a complete rearrangement of existing weather patterns… and fierce winds, while they do it. We are building wind breaks around the garden. Micro Climates.

So. Why willow, instead of more thorny plants to keep the ninjas out?

One word. Salicylic Acid. OK, thats two words. And Fast… and Free  . FOUR. Four words… Ha, Ah Ah…

(C5 likes FREE. Nothing is free though. Its all sweat equity)

Salicylic Acid is found in Willow Bark. Preppers will know it works like aspirin. I have had to use this in the bush a few times, myself, to solve debilitating headaches. I always seem to forget something essential when heading away from civilization. But that is not why we are planting it. It also acts as a ROOTING HORMONE. This makes it quickly want to throw roots out. Some people will put an aspirin in plant cuttings to trick it into rooting. I don’t have time for that. I just want to drive them deep in the ground and walk away. The other reason, is I find willow growing in ditches everywhere. The road crews have to cut them back often. You can easily identify them, first thing in the spring, by the Pussy Willows. See the photos at the top of the page. That was a test plot I put in before going over seas. Proof it works. Later in the year, you can identify it by spear head shaped leaves.

I also put it in other areas that didn’t work. They had been out competed by other weeds. This was not a fail. It just taught me that I need to weed around it until it is firmly established. We want to do this job, first thing in the spring, while the ground is wet, So I can drive the cuttings at least two feet in the soil,  so the roots have time to establish, with plenty of summer grow time. Also, because this is the time of year when it is in a race to out grow its competition. We “Stressed” the plant by cutting it, and this has put it into over drive, trying to save its own life. Sort of like Adrenalin in humans. You wont make its life easier by waiting for leaves and keeping them on before or after planting. These don’t seem to make it. They are only focusing on leaf growth at this point, not roots and wood growth.

In the years to come, we will then bend them around each other so it becomes like a chain link fence, that you just can’t push trough.

woven

(Not mine. Stolen from alastairheseltine.com)

Clearly, you are not going to see the fence in this article. Instead, we will keep coming back to it in future articles to see how it is doing. If it fails, you get to watch it fail. Thus the Research part of Dark Green Mountain.

Now, before I lose the interest of the Manly Men out there that are getting distracted by wanting to go out and shoot bunnies, this is essential survival training for TEOTWAWKI (thats, The End Of The World As We Know It, for newbies). If you actually want to harvest anything in the garden you planted, first you need to keep the deer out. They can jump 8ft fences, so you want to go higher. The two legged garden thieves are also an issue, especially once people get hungry. This should also be a good way to HIDE a garden. Out of sight, out of mind. And hide yourself, while we are at it. You may be Rambo, but you have got to sleep sometime. If you like sleep, its best to do it in an enclosure others cant get into to catch you sleeping. At the absolute minimum, you can use these barriers to force people to come at you, from a direction you can see them coming. A visual barrier also defeats most snipers… or just Looky Lue’s.

Visual barriers like this are common in other parts of the world. See my article, Sharp and Pointy Things.  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/04/21/survival-advice-from-south-america-part-2-sharp-and-pointy-things/

But, in the Caribbean, its common to see this, for the same purpose.  Its the most common fencing material. Its sort of unsightly to north amerikans, prissy fucks that we are…but it does have the added bonus of that, if you move, you can take your fence with you. Chattel fencing. steel wall

Now, a Palisade seems like a good idea for the apocalypse. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palisade  but it is a ridiculous amount of work, without having an army of people to build it, and it will rot rather fast. I had given this idea some thought but realised it was suicidal to try. Why not let your your palisade grow itself… and grow stronger over time.

Besides, Nothing invites a police raid or mental health evaluation, like building a palisade. A tactical hedge on the other hand, makes you a gardening enthusiast.

Now, for the Technical Tactical Growies out there, instead of the Tactical Tyke Shooters and looters… I mentioned Micro Climates near the top. Besides stopping heavy winds, It will also create summer shade around the edges  for shade loving plants, while reducing summer evaporation. It will also make for happy pollinators and bug loving birdies to add there own squirty fertilizer to the soil. And it should trap some of  the days heat on your garden into the night.

Willow is also good for bank stabilization, terrace building and stopping water erosion. The roots hold the ground together. All issues related to the new weather and rain bombs that have been showing up the last few years. If you are going to get a year of rain in 24 hrs, holding the ground in place is pretty important.

Now, buy the time you read this, its probably too late for you to take on an obsessive build like this. Besides, once it is in…its in. Instead, its not too late to just stick 3 or 4  willow stakes in the ground and just do the permaculture process of Observing. Observe what nature does. What it likes. What it doesnt. Next time you need a trellis stick, you can just walk over and cut yourself one.

(April 15. Still Waiting for the ground to thaw. Melt. Unfreeze. Gathering willow furiously, though)

I have built myself a few Hadrian’s Walls before. Nothing new to me about this build or solving this fencing issue.

hadrians wall 1

hadrians wall 2

5 years later, its getting close to full breakdown. I am in a race to get the willow fence going before it is completely gone. I’ll save you the photos. It looks like shit now (F.Y.I. Recycled electric wire, barbed wire and  recycled clothes line tops the fence about 9 ft.

Then I did an even more obsessive build. The historic Dead Hedge. Real heart attack inspiring job.

Before

DH Before 1

After

DH Bass Akward 4

This is being taken back even faster and we will do a full report, “The Grateful Dead Hedge, Redux” soon. After good and heated discussions with Permies, we came to the conclusion that the dead hedge was good to use wile getting a Live Hedge going.. The Dead Hedge eventually becomes a Hugal mound that feeds and provides stored moisture for the living hedge

(April 17- Another day, another Franken-Storm. This is a storm stretching, quite literally, from Cuba to Cana’duh. It stretches a quarter of the planet. Its huge. Luckily, we are getting the rainy edge, instead of freezing sleet, further east and north. This should speed up ground thaw so I can start pounding willow stakes into the soil. But this weather gives me the opportunity to stop cutting willow today and do some writing)

I got a note from one of my relatives. It read-

I read your recent post and I have a comment concerning your pussies.  For the last 5 years I’ve become very knowledgeable in bioengineering techniques including live staking which is the foundation for your live fences.  I have used this method on just about every project I’ve worked on over the past 5 years for bank stabilization. I’ve also monitored the success/failure of these techniques, so I know what works and what doesn’t.  You said you are going to start collecting willows in the spring.  Be careful here.  Willows should be harvested in their dormant stage, so you should be collecting them in late winter early spring. You will need to get those willows into the ground as soon as it thaws.  I’m assuming you chose 3′ lengths because that’s how long your hole starter (rebar, dowel, stick) is and you intend to insert 3/4 to 7/8 of the length of willow into the ground.  This will only leave about a few inches (minimum of 2 buds worth) of the willow sticking out of the ground.  The deeper you go, the higher success as the willow tips will reach into the water table.  If you know your groundwater table is shallow then you can aim for more shallow willow insertions. We typically use 2 m long willows. If you want to make sure your willows don’t develop disease, paint the top of the willow (to seal the top cut wound, if you have one) and soak the bottom of the willow in root hormone to promote rooting activity.

Thanks T. I’ll post this a little earlier than intended so that other folks have time to do some test plots. To start, one of the reasons I chose willow was the Salicylic Acid. A rooting hormone. Most sticks you put in the ground will throw leaves and seem to grow…then be dead by fall. No roots. Willow, on the otherhand, will throw roots if left in water. I saw this all the time, back when I used to build bent willow chairs. If your test plots fail, you may try to start the plants in buckets, and toss in some aspirins to speed things up. Same chemical. Willow bark can also be used to trick other plants into rooting. We don’t have long, strait willow here so I work with what I got. Longer will be better, to face weed competition. Willow seems to be very forgiving. I have accidentally planted some upside down and they still grew. But the longer the better and I am doing them as stakes so I can just hammer them into the ground… as deep as possible. Im expecting a certain fail rate. I will have to come in next year and fill in any spaces that did not take. I’ll use longer stakes any place they will face obvious competition.

We will cut this short, because you don’t need to see photos of sticks in the ground, and you may want to go out and cut some before the leaves start. Even if you are a bit late, in warmer climates, go give it a try and observe. Willow is pretty forgiving.

Now, this isn’t supposed to the authoritative post on live fences. It’s just to point you in the right direction. Now you know such a thing exists. You can type, LIVING WILLOW FENCE, into your search engine, go to IMAGES and see lots of different versions… around the world. https://www.ecosia.org/images?q=living+willow+fence   There are lots of ways to do this. England and the rest of Europe have been using hedge rows and live fences forever. In fact, some parts of Hadrian’s Wall are a boarder of hawthorn because the Roman occupiers drove spikes of hawthorn into the ground to defend themselves from… everybody else who didn’t want to be occupied. Sort of like the U.S. Empire Storm Troopers today. A few of the spikes grew and spread. Hawthorn is pretty rare to root though… which is why we are starting with willow. I’ll try to trick some hawthorn into rooting, some other time.

Another version of this is “Hedge Laying”

During WWII, European hedge rows were problematic enough that they built specialized tank attachments to cut through them… since regular tanks could not get through them.

Once this latest storm breaks, its time for me to start hammering in stakes. At least I hope the ground is ready. We’ll see.

(One last afterthought before posting. Willow can also be used to help terrace junk land without rock walls…and help keep rivers or streams in place https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/09/14/c5-on-terracing-junk-land-survival-advice-from-pre-inca-south-america-part-13-permaculturepermanent-culture/ )

This is my last, obsessive, Hadrian’s Wall, fence build. Its for all the marbles. Not just my garden. I’m putting up defensive barriers, as time and willow cuttings allow. I’ll soon be too old to build any more fences. I want to get old, watching my palisade grow.

So… get out there and build yourself a tank proof, sniper scuttling, Super Storm resistant wall. Plant like your life and your children’s lives depends on it. Because it does.

——

Since people have been mentioning the Canada part of DGM, why not have DJ-C5 end this with some Retro Canadiana. Nothing is more Canadian than RUSH. It leaves me thinking of a future of Climate Refugees.

O.K. Well, that was depressing, even for the Dark Green Mountain.

So, lets make this more inspirational.

Two good Holy Grail moments deserves another. Rather good, Survival advice from Monty Python.

I sure could use an anarcho syndicate commune. Or more peasants. Whatever works. I’m leaning towards peasants at the moment.


(Thanks, D.B. for the donation and kind words)

If you would like to give a Tip for services rendered or to support the cause, go here. https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=MHI6RXIMnpmep-_sLNw_SK10fPfNKw2G24O8SOpLN3cKo-l-imCdw5inPYaBQMkbZFaOnm&country.x=CA&locale.x=CA   All “Tips” go towards material costs for future experiments.

 

 

 

 

 

 

C5 Walks into a Diner…

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Published on The Doomstead Diner on April 3, 2018

C5 walks into a diner

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… Stop Me If You Have Heard This One…

 

With your Host, Category5.

 

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the apocalypse.

Stop me if you have heard this one. A disheveled, aging, survivalist in a leather jacket walks into the Doomstead Diner. He puts a tiny little piano on the bar, then whips out a 10 inch pianist…. Buduptup.

That’s right folks. The Dark Green Mountain Survival Research Centre is now being cross posted at The Doomstead Diner. Hey, Mom, I’m almost famous.

To the new folks reading me for the first time, Welcome!

As I go into Season Two, this is a good time to recap who I am, what I am about…..And some of what we will be  building or experimenting with, here at the Dark Green Mountain Survival Research Centre this year. There is a good place to start. No. That is not a spelling error. It’s a quickly disappearing, Canadian spelling. If I had known I would have so many Amerikan readers I might have spelled it the other way. MrsC5 and myself  live on a paid for 110 acre Doomstead in rural Nova Scotia. You can say, it is a place that has already gone into economic collapse… and sort of has been for the last 200 years. This has its pros and its cons.

Lets get straight to the obvious. I am not like the other survivalists. I like my apocalypse Rude, Crude and Irreverent. I am the Dirty Street Punk, Gen-X Version of Survivalism.

More so, I consider most of the survivalist advice out there as completely and utterly useless. I know. I have lived much of it. It is survival advice that can not produce “Actual Survival”. In many cases, it is the complete opposite of survival and almost guaranteed to get you killed.

Thus the beginning of the C5 rules of Survival.

C5 Rule of Survival  #1 – There is no such thing as a Survival Expert. Anyone claiming to be is just trying to sell you something, whether that is a product, service, political, religious, or racial position. TRUST ME on this. I wrote a book about it that you will want to purchase.

C5 Rule of Survival #2 – Never trust anyone that says, “Trust Me”.

(Do your due diligence)

C5 Rule of Survival #3 – Take all the old Survivalist Advice and, pretty much, do the complete opposite…. and your actual chances of surviving goes up substantially.

 

Now, there is no book to purchase, by the way… but if their was, those first three rules would be on the cover… With me, Buck Naked, under the title, Modern Survivalism, EXPOSED!

There is actually nothing new about that statement. The late Mel Tappan, Survival writer for Guns and Ammo, back in the day, confronted a lot of the things I also challenge. Back in his day, he used to say the problem with Survivalism was too many Doctors and Lawyers. Not enough plumbers and electricians. Nowadays the problem with Survivalism, and even its more moderate offshoot, Preppers, is, too many plumbers and electricians… that all want to be special forces, invincible, super heroes roaming the wasteland, saving us all from evil doers.

The lives of the working class have become so miserable and meaningless that they fantasize about insurgent war and mass murder. This is, historically, how death squads happen. They feed on the most paranoid propaganda fantasies and, over time, it becomes an addiction … that needs even more darker paranoid fantasies to get the same buzz and feeling of that they have special knowledge. That they are special. It is more of an Existential Crisis at the end of empire.

 

So, let’s try to forget that the last 60 years of Survivalism and Prepping even existed for a moment, shall we.

Let’s wipe the slate clean. Let’s strip everything down to the most basic necessities of life.

And it’s not what you think.

Here are the main things we are facing. We are running out of the most essential resources as the population continues to grow. We have an economy that must always grow exponentially or it will immediately crash. And the crazy, abrupt change in weather patterns around the globe, long predicted, is now happening as we watch. Meanwhile, the Gen Pop, or  general population are going into multiple versions of insanity and denial of reality.

(I sometimes like listening to this, simply for the beat poetry. What can I say. I am a Renaissance Doomer)

 

So. Let’s start with an easy one.

If you suddenly are let go from your job and a bunch of other people are in the same position, and over time it becomes clear that you aren’t going to have another job again that actually pays enough to live on… FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE…the big question is…

…Where are you going to live?

No biggy. Think it through.

I live in cana’duh so that is no joke. Exposure and hypothermia will kill you faster than hunger or dehydration. Everything starts there. If you have a mortgage, you need to fully understand that your house is not yours. Not in the slightest. Not even a portion of it. Not until you have paid off every last penny…or sold it to some other sucker. Miss a few payments and it’s gone. Let’s not fool ourselves with the idea that if the banks fail, your house is free. They will just sell you and your debt to someone else. 2008 is still fresh in many people’s minds. The 2014-15 commodities crash is still fresh in the minds of Albertans. Greece’s collapse is still ongoing.

Many Millennials will be laughing hysterically at this paragraph and saying to themselves, “… Like I would ever be able to afford a Mortgage. Boomer problems. Shit…”

So that is your first question to answer. Where will I live when I no longer have (enough) money coming in?

 

I am not going  to actually give you an answer. That is up to you to figure out.

I am just giving you the right question to ask.

I often say, Survivalists and Preppers are really bad at understanding Transitional Phases. It doesn’t fit into their carefully scripted freedom fantasy. They are waiting for some magic event. “Bang! And we are off! Let the apocalypse begin.”

Nothing makes me roll my eyes and think, “Dead Survivalist walking”  more than hearing those, all too common, words, “When the Shit Hits The Fan, I am going to….”. Insert lame survival plan here. If you are not living your survival plan NOW, you simply do not have the working system necessary or enough experience. It’s a full time gig.

Let me rephrase that. It’s a full time gig simply to figure out everything you are doing wrong and how much you suck at simply staying alive. This is called, The Learning Curve. “If the apocalypse had actually arrived, survivors a few years later would have gotten used to a landscape scattered with empty garden-in-a-box kits, overgrown garden patches, and the skeletal remains of preppers who starved to death because the learning curve lasted just that much longer than they did” (John Michael Greer)

 

So, I created the  C5’s  5Fs  to slim Survivalism and Prepping down to something that is Real, Relational, and Relevant.

 

C5’s 5F- #1 – Food Storage –

“Because it is Cheap. Because it is Easy. Because your Great Grandparents wouldn’t understand why you didn’t and would be really angry with you” (Chris Martenson). The reason this is #1 is that even your best efforts cannot guarantee that your food systems will work, the weather will cooperate, the forests won’t be stripped clean of animals (which is almost guaranteed) or all your best growing abilities won’t be destroyed by super storms, droughts or fires. Even if you have food production down, that food must still be stored each and every year… with extra in case the next crops fail. I also often say, “Someone may try to kill you a few times in your life (I have survived a few attempts on my life before so I know)… but you have to Eat, Each and Every Day. Often, more than once.” If that seems daunting and expensive, here is all my best advice on how to do it cheaper than your diet today.  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2018/03/14/season-ii-c5-serves-cock-favored-soup-doomstead-dining-on-survival-food-storage-home-at-the-dark-green-mountain/

cock

 

C5’s 5F- #2 – Food Production –

Food. IT IS THE ALPHA AND OMEGA OF SURVIVAL. The Beginning and the End. Every thing else is extra. If you do not have that, you really have NOTHING. And You have NO CHANCE. If you were ever wondering what to do with your life, that is it. Right there folks. If that is not enough, figure out how to do it without oil or machinery input or dept financing or a functioning market to buy or sell it. That is your full life’s work right there. If where you live is not conducive to achieving this, or will not sustain food production because of climate conditions, water, population density or climate change, I have a simple answer to solve this dilemma. MOVE. Not when the shit hits the fan. Not as a Bug Out plan. Now. It will take you years of hard work and adjustment. The locals will take many years, if not decades, to accept you. (plus you will probably fail a few times. Doomsteading attempts are like Ex Wives. The first two are practice)

multi use greenhouse 2

 

C5’s 5F- #3 – Fire wood –

I live in Cana’duh. Heating is not an option. All survival advice is regional. If you live in a warm climate, this may be less important. Without industrial energy inputs, this is your one and only energy source. No wood, no survival. If you do not have this or can not use this where you are, see my very simple answer to solve this dilemma, above. On our return to cana’duh, we learned there had basically been no winter here, other than the occasional, lethal, polar vortexes which are now the new normal, and of course, the Bomb Cyclone on the day I was leaving. I don’t use the term Apocalypse lightly. There was absolutely no snow… then we got hit by 4, count it 4 Nor’easters in less than a month, in March. It has been bleak….followed by periods of really fucking depressingly bleak. I took the first snow opportunity to move some wood by sled. We will do a full article on wood soon… that I will probably just call “C5 gets Wood!”

dog and sled

 

C5’s 5F- #4 – Fuel Storage – (Short Term)

Nothing extreme here. Fuel has a short shelf life. We rotate ours into our vehicle every six months to keep it fresh. This is simply for interruptions in the fuel delivery system. A buffer. An Edge. Better to learn to live without it. I am a realist here, though. If fuel supplies abruptly shut off, the Vast Majority of the human population will be dead in short order. Energy Transition Will Not and Can Not solve this. Too Little, Too Late. If we had put war time level effort into this back in the 70s, maybe. Now? THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH. This is what this Blog is about. If you take my advice, this gives you a Very Slim chance at survival. Very Slim. If you don’t, you have none. FYI, I don’t plan on using this gas storage to run generators or “Tear around Nam looking for the shit”. It will almost all go into my chainsaw. If an abrupt stop happens, I have about two years till the gas goes bad. I was watching The Walking Dead the other night…and somehow, magically, they are still driving around. Never once have I heard them say, ” So. What are we going to do about the disintegrating TIRES”… and goddess forbid, they ever have to use their windshield wipers. TWO YEARS. This is how long I have to buck up enough firewood to get me through old age. Really. That is my SHTF job #1. For everyone else, you will quickly want to memorize the term, “Rocket Mass Heater” and let your fingers do the walking. People will become less uncomfortable using the term, “Faggot” again, in its historical usage. Look it up…and tremble.  https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/faggot

gas 1

C5’s 5F- #5 – Friends – (Long Term)

The People part of Prepping. Also the single hardest Job. And it has been an almost Full Time Job to achieve this and solve this problem in my life. It’s time for Survivalists to get real and kick the ideology driven idea of  Self Sufficiency to the curb as a masturbatory fluff Fantasy, that can not produce “Actual Survival”. Have you actually ever met a real person that is actually self sufficient? Me neither. If you think you might have, look a little closer and I suspect not.  There is a reason humans have almost always lived in villages. It is a survival system. Full disclosure. I don’t live in a village… and this makes me extremely vulnerable. My main goal in life before I die is to create one. A goal of which I expect to FAIL. I am running out of time. But you never know. I have been known to pull off miracles before. You are reading me, aren’t you? In the mean time, we throw alot of parties, go to others parties and try to think of ways to get like minded people to do stuff together. Building social reliance, social bonds and mutual support networks. Social Capital.

 

That there is the absolute minimum to survival in a rapidly changing and highly fucked up world, where a mass die off is quickly approaching. It is truly daunting. You now only have two options. Party like it is 1999 (or 2007)… or make a decision that you are going to try to save yourself and others. If you choose the latter, it is NOW time to get busy. Not tomorrow. Not when the Shit Hits The Fan. Now. Yesterday would better.

There is also another way to use the C5’s  F5s when thinking about all the other Vanilla ISIS, Yuppy Scum Survivalists out there that dominate the medium.

That would be to say out loud, “Well, Fucking Fuck the Fucking Fucked Fuckers”.

I am rather proud of myself for that one.

The other would be to say to them, “Go back to playing more Call Of Duty and watch lots of porn and live as happy of a life as long as you can, now…because your ‘Prepping’ can not produce ‘Actual Survival’… and you are quickly becoming a Clear and Present Danger to those of us that are actually trying”.

This is all my best advice, right there, shortened for  modern attention spans. Drop Mic.

Hang on. I dropped the mic. It rolled under the couch. Almost got it……….Got it!

OK, Grass Hoppers. This is my Kung Fu. Pay attention. I really do have other shit to do.

Up top is commentary. Now comes the practical survival advice.

There is an essential product you will have to purchase to stay alive…for when the shit hits the fan. Not a magnesium fire starter. Not a Glock or AR15. Not a Mylar lined poncho so the N.W.O. drones can’t find you.

A ladder. You heard me right. An aluminum extension ladder. The higher quality the better. It’s essential.

No, seriously. Have you EVER heard a survival teacher tell you, “You need an extension ladder or you will die”? Ever?

Can you figure out why? Think it through.

It is because you will have to get up onto your roof and clean the creosote out of your stove pipes… at least once a year. No one is coming to do it for you. If you do not do this, you will have a creosote fire and your house will burn to the ground around you. There is no getting around this eventually happening to you.

If you have lived it, that is Sooooo obvious that it is not even worth stating.

But that is the difference between REAL SURVIVAL TRAINING… and the other crap you read online. I expect A LOT of forest fires. Urban fires. Suburb fires, etc..

If you want REAL SURVIVAL TRAINING… here is a good one. It’s from my online friend, a trusted and reasonable prepper,  Denob. The administrator of the Canadian Preppers Network and IPN.

So, how do I know this. Do you think it comes from a divine prophetic ability? Nope. I was working on a project and left my ladder a little too close to the road. Some crack head redneck local decided to drive off with it. My first realization was that I could no longer get on the roof… and I hadn’t done my chimney clean in the spring like I was supposed to. I quickly made a ladder but it was too heavy for practical use. I am still waiting for a second hand ladder to show up at a garage sale. I suppose another piece of survival advice is, if you already have a ladder in your garage, it should also have a lock and something to attach it to. This is so thieves don’t use it to break into your house by going through any open, second story window.

The other… is that my stove gasket has been hanging down, probably should have been changed 2 years ago, and I have been waiting for spring when I no longer need the stove, to change it out. This means I burned alot of extra wood and had too hot a fire occasionally because there was too much air going in.

I suppose a third is that I had a creosote fire once, Way Back, when I first had to use a wood stove and it was new to me. It’s so common that the local fire chief took out his wood stove and only heats with electricity now. He was traumatized by seeing too many ruined lives.

But I can just hear the push back and comments from the survivalisty tactical tykes out there, when confronted with “The Ladder Factor”. It would be, “Well, you cant fit that in a Bug Out Bag”. No, really. I got that comment once when telling people the #5 purchase preppers should make is a Broad Fork https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broadfork  (#1 item being a wood stove). Another would be hearing, “What are you going to do, swing it around in a circle to hit attackers with”. Really. I got that comment when presenting the #3 item. A quality, corded power drill…and a spare. It’s why I don’t and just can’t allow comments on my site. I just want to STRANGLE the fuckers!

It’s for my own mental health.

 

Sooooo. MrsC5 and myself just came back from 9 months in Peru and 3 months in Barbados. While MrsC5 was volunteering with a Canadian Development agency, I was taking the opportunity to study how others survive with less resources. We had basically burnt out from trying to achieve all that stuff  mentioned above and needed a break to recharge. For the new comers that are just tuning in now, the series started here  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/04/18/survival-advice-from-south-america-part-1-the-arrival/ and you can work out how to read the series in order, yourself, if you wish. There is some epic posts in there.

And what can you expect from us this year at The Dark Green Mountain Survival Research Centre? It’s going to be a busy year.

The sexy stuff  happens later in the year. We have to do some upgrades, stabilization and rust proofing on our shipping container outbuilding while bringing in a second container to be turned into a hurricane proof, fireproof, polar vortex resistant, guest house. The “Research” part of this is, “how cheaply and quickly can we possibly pull this off?” Emphasis on cheap and fast.  It will be used for people staying here. But it is also a back up home if a superstorm turns our main house into match sticks or embers.

As soon as spring hits, I will be in a race to get as much pussy as possible. Pussy willow I mean. I will need at least a thousand 3ft willow cuttings. We will be starting living fences from scratch. Animal and human barriers. Mainly around the garden, since our deer fence is decomposing quickly, but other places as well. While doing that, we will revisit the ancient fencing method of Dead Hedging.

And I will soon try to do an experiment on mobile defensive barriers, and time how fast it takes to build each 8ft mobile section. The idea is to put it in front of vulnerable parts of the house, then as more can be built, the safe zone can be expanded outwards. The big part of this experiment will be to observe just how quickly nature destroys all of our effort and whether it is worth doing on mass. So, it is a multi year experiment.

And we will be revisiting Mythos and Logos Doomstead where they will be teaching us how to render clay from clay-ish soil, the main building block in cob building material. It’s heavy, slow work. I will be doing alot of bitch work while I learn, with you as the beneficiaries. I will be doing this to begin paying them back for saving my ass and tending our doomstead when we were in a bind overseas. I also have to do the same paying back, for a friend I will simply and mysteriously call “S”. She will need some help finishing her mini home and that will give the opportunity to talk about that subject.

We will also continue to work on C5’s F5- #5. The people part of prepping.  I may call this post “50 Shades of Grey. The Ties that Bind- Sexy Adult Parties and Guy on Guy action”. It’s on Community Building or Growing Social Capital. What did you think it was about? Oh, That. Well, whatever gets you UP in the morning. Never mind.

And more. Lots more. There really is a lifetime of work to do here. We will see how much we can get accomplished in between the usual food, firewood, some odd jobs off site since we have no income coming in this year and taking care of repairs (lots of repairs. Nature sure likes to break stuff) . Stay Tuned.

See you, next month


 

If you would like to give a Tip for services rendered or to support the cause, go here. https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=MHI6RXIMnpmep-_sLNw_SK10fPfNKw2G24O8SOpLN3cKo-l-imCdw5inPYaBQMkbZFaOnm&country.x=CA&locale.x=CA   All “Tips” go towards material costs for future experiments.

(Thanks for the donations, N.S. and J.D.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

C5 serves Cock Favored Soup- Doomstead Dining on Survival Food Storage

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Published on The Doomstead Diner on March 27, 2018

cock

Discuss this article at the Diner Pantry inside the Diner

With this article, the Diner welcome Category5 to to the Pantheon of Diner cross posters.  In this case, C5 is a rank up from the typical cross-poster since he also has become an active participant Inside the Diner on our Kollapsnik Forum as well.

Like me, C5 is also concerned with the FOOD issues and how to eat cheap on the way to full on collapse, and he recently gave us a Shout Out on his blog, Dark Grean Mountain Survival Research Center.  So it's only fair we give him a Shout out back!

C5 is also another Prepper on the Diner with a Doomstead, another Hoser from the Great White North of Canada.  He's a welcome addition to our team of Kollapsnik Bloggers here on the Doomstead Diner.  We look forward to more of his articles in the future.  We also welcome any of his friends from the Permie Community to come join us for a Collapse Meal Inside the Diner on the Forum. Click the links for "Inside the Diner" or the Forum link on the Nav Bar to learn how to join our merry crew of Kollapsniks!

One warning, he is about as long winded as I am so it's a good idea to sit down with the adult beverage of your choice or a nice meal to accompany the reading. -RE

 

 

 

 

Season II- C5 serves Cock Favored Soup- Doomstead Dining on Survival Food Storage, Home at The Dark Green Mountain

 

With your host, Catergory5 …and… Some people I don’t have permission to promote… but I am going to do it anyhow. Devious bastard that I am.

I have noticed something by watching the statistics.

Few people read links I put on the page.

Fore those of you who don’t read my links….. You are not going to have much fun this post.

Its an important post or I would not of done it. I really do have other things to do.

Click the links… or it wont make sense. DJ C5 might as well kick this season off with the soundtrack to this fine article, below

 

We are teaching people how to swim, proverbially.

Periodically, I stumble onto really good survival advice… that others don’t or wont take much interest in because it is just not sexy enough. All the Real Survival Advice that can produce Actual Survival….definitely not sexy. As I have said many times, someone may try to kill you a few times in life… but you have to eat every single day. Often more than once. This should adjust your focus onto what is really important… and know what is just masturbatory fluff.

One of those better series was presented by Re at The Doomstead Diner. “SNAP Card Addendum”.

I’ve unrepentantly stolen a couple things from Re. The first is that I refer to my place as a Doomstead. It was the perfect word. Homestead was the wrong word, bringing to mind imaging of settlers carving something out of the wilderness. Its falsely progressive sounding. A Doomstead is for when society is regressing. Our place is not a farm. That implies it is a business of exploiting land, and selling something. A Doomstead implies the process of buying and selling has gone wonky. A Community implies something hippy or religious utopian. A Doomstead community on the other hand implies that you need each other simply to stay alive  in the midst of a dystopia. And it is definitely not a Bug Out Location. That implies Business As Usual with a last minute escape plan. You know I consider this a Denial Plan. No real Plan at all. A Doomstead implies acceptance and that you have put collapse adaption theory into practice…and boy, did it ever need practice. It took 5 years of full time work to simply be able to say we had Addendaed the shit out of our lives and skills to the point we simply would not die…but we would not like it much. Five years of work meant we simply wouldn’t have distended tummies and sunken eyes, ethiopian style, while freezing to death. Yup. Its a Doomstead. Then we burnt out and went traveling, knowing it was the last chance. Now it is time for more Addenda.

The other thing I stole from Re was the word Addendum. Not commonly used but I am a wordy guy and it is a useful word for what I do here on the Doomstead.

Now I am about to steal Re’s Soup….

Re’s articles, that I am shamelessly stealing are on Cheap Eats. Food that can be afforded by those on Welfare. We don’t have SNAP Cards here in Cana’duh… but the principle is the same. I have been on Welfare before so understand how hard it can be to get enough nutrition. I consider the whole episode as Survival Perspective training.

If you are thinking of checking out at this point because somehow you are just too good for this and it would never happen to you…just stop. Get over yourself… or better still, just stop reading, go back to the other Yuppy Scum Survivalist sites, roll the dice and takes your chances.

This isn’t just about staying fed while poor. Its Survival Training. Wrong word. Its Adapter Training. It will also teach you how to better use products in your food storage. How too stretch it out. How to make it healthier. How to use the absolute cheapest available industrial production food (some of the cheapest food to put in your food storage system) and yet get flavor AND nutrition AND enough calories AND still be comfort food… during a time when you will really need comfort food.

For those with less funds, this is a path to being able to to build your own food storage prepping supplies. Simply put, the only way to get past, hand to mouth eating mixed with periodic hunger, is to lower your food cost… and then focus that money into food storage as a buffer against food or financial interruption.

More important than Re’s actual advice, is that this post should re train you how to think about survival food. How can I “Addendum” my food. How can I make it Better. More nutritious. More “Edible”.

What got me thinking about writing this, is that we just came back from some places with SUBSTANTIALLY higher food costs. We simply could not afford the “Junk” food. Junk is a good word for it. Its barely food. But its cheap… thus North Amerikans eat it and think it is food. I store alot of it in my food storage because it is cheap and shelf stable. Its also grossly underpriced. Its artificially priced. It doesn’t represent actual work…and my subconscious has been SCREAMING at me that it is about to go away… some time very soon. My subconscious has steered me right before.  It pays attention to what my conscious mind might not have all the facts about. And my subconscious has been screaming at me to quickly rebuild my pantry, specifically, the cheap “Junk” food. Like canned soups. A simple doubling of the price would suddenly make many peoples lifestyles drop dramatically. Depression, divorce, homelessness and mis-focused political outrage would follow.

In Barbados, a can of Chunky Soup was going for about 8-10 dollars. A bag of Chips, 12$. A carton of Juice, 7$. Our standard of living dropped dramatically when our food costs more than doubled. It got me thinking of the Arab Spring. A doubling of food costs, shattered the existing order. Syria?  That has all been about climate change, farm abandonment and food cost rise. Suicides buy farmers from India to America. Cheap fuel uncertainty.  Market manipulation and fraud. And who can forget the truly weird weather this year around the globe. Rain at the poles while snowing at the Vatican. There is nothing weird about the weather to me. Its as expected. More to come, and speeding up.

Well, lets just jump in. Remember, you are supposed to go read it. This is where I jumped into Re’s series. It may not SEEM like advice for the apocalypse. But it is the beginning of training in how to Think about food.

 

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2016/10/16/snap-card-gourmet-pizza/

 

What got my attention in this article…is that I had done similar things. It wasn’t just me. Oh good. I chatted with my friend Mythos on the subject since he had also been from the shit. We talked about the cheapest street level food. I always did the meatball sub at Subway as the cheapest source of edible calories. It would turn into a soggy mess if not eaten right away. Re was correct in avoiding tomatoes or sauce. But his insight to cut up a sub, stretching it out into several meals, got my brain going. The sub wasnt the whole meal. Just part of it….And it can be “Addenda” or added to. Add the better things you like. Its just a base. So, I said to Mythos, “The absolute cheapest street food was Wendy’s Chili on the Value Menu.” Mythose jumped in, “Exactly. I would start my day with Wendy’s chili if I was going to put in physical effort that day”. Its when me and Mythos really started to bond because we realized we were from similar backgrounds. The next would be the pizza. Dollar slices weren’t really pizza. Just flavored fresh bread. That makes it perfect to Addendum. We do that at home. We occasionally get the absolute cheapest frozen pizzas when they are on sale for 2.50 to 3.50$. There is almost nothing food like about this product. Its barely edible. A waist of the energy to bake it. Instead, we use it at a cheep base to put other meats, cheeses or vegetables on. The use of the the toaster oven in Re’s article was also good. Way more energy efficient that heating a full stove.  A dollar saved is a dollar earned. Last would be the roasted chicken. When I lived in my van, I could only do this in cold weather since I had no reliable refrigeration. And it was cheaper than roasting a chicken once you factored in roasting cost. It was several meals. A chicken meal or two. A sandwich meal or two. Then several meals of soup once the rest was boiled up. Stone Soup. The real food of the apocalypse. Whatever you have on hand, Addendum’s your food. That is my point here. We do the same with our own chichens today. Its many meals. After the first meal, MrsC5 strips everything off the bones for other stir fries, then starts a soup from the bones to suck every gram of nutrition out of it.

Now, lets move on. This is where it gets really useful. I dare say, exiting. If you are not exited… it means you have never known hunger.

 

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2017/01/01/snap-card-gourmet-soup-ammendation/

 

Exited yet? Hopefully you are figuring out where I am going with this. Using your food storage in creative ways you might not of thought of before. But before we get there, here is more.

 

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2015/11/08/snap-card-gourmet-gumbo/

 

OK. Hopefully you get it by now. If not, let me spell it out. You can take a single can of the cheapest possible shelf stable food and change it into a meal that can feed many. Alone, you can barely call it food. But if you start to look at it as a base OR a flavoring, everything changes.

Some of you will remember I started to write a book but then decided I suck at writing books so stopped. But in my failed book, I told a story where new people came to my Doomstead at the beginning of a collapse. My character wanted to test them, so I took a single 50c can of condensed cream of mushroom soup, put it on the table and made it clear this was the meal tonight and it was meant to feed the six people around the table. I wanted the new comers to know just how valuable that little can was.

That can was barely enough to feed one person and its nutrition was negligible. So, how is it possible. It was meant to be a sauce or flavoring to make unpalatable food, edible. A 50c can of cream soup was meant to flavor a 1.50 bag of spaghetti or rice. From there, we would “stone soup”, or, Addendum it up to a nutritious meal. Foraged greens, onions from the garden, whatever tiny bit of meet was available, some dried stuff from last year, etc.  The story was supposed to be a food storage teaching tool. One little can of cheap processed food, becomes a big pot of healthy food for several…or just alot of leftovers.

Re took it a bit further though. Even I hadn’t thought about taking a can of Chunky Soup and just turning it into a better soup. Face palm. The simple genius of the idea. The best I had come up with was pouring it over rice, pasta, free bread, wheat berries, greens or potatoes, fresh or instant.

Now, some pups might be unfamiliar with the term “Stone Soup” or the parables from which it comes. No need to waist my effort here. You can look it up here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_Soup

I will say goodnight to Re and The Doomstead Diner at this point. Thanks again. You can find him here. http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/  Their forum section is also a news source I regularly visit though it is a bit hard to find. http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/forum/  Scroll down to the bottom of the page. But I will also leave you with a few more from the SNAP Card Addendum series if you with to continue reading.

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/11/23/the-snap-card-gourmet-004-chicken-snap-alaska-re/

This may seem a bit pricey….. but its the proof. By eating cheap, you can then splurge. We do this. Or, you can now start saving food.

And, its also about veggies. Not just cans or meat.

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2017/05/14/the-endless-salad/

A meal plan

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2015/12/27/snap-card-gourmet-weekly-menu/

and more

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/11/16/the-snap-card-gourmet-003-eggs-toba-flambe/

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/11/09/the-snap-card-gourmet-002/

http://www.doomsteaddiner.net/blog/2014/10/31/the-snap-card-gourmet-001/


 

 

So, REAL SURVIVAL TRAINING is all about food.

 

It is the Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End. Remember that every time you eat.

 

We say goodby to Re but the subject is just getting started.

Im quoting…..myself.  “An example, I have used before.- A popular YouTube “prepper expert” put out a video saying, “Sorry. I cant do any more Prepper videos because I cant afford to buy any more guns to show you. I just lost my job. I am about to lose my house (behind him was the big suburban Barbie dream house). I guess they will repossess the truck as well. I cant afford the gas for it anyhow. ”
All I can respond is, “Your survival advice is shit, dude.”

Dude, I could bitch slap you all day about how your Rambo advice is bad, M’kay, or I could try to help you Adapt. Here is how I can best help you adapt to your new found roll of not having the god given privilege you were sure was your birth right.”

 

https://www.leannebrown.com/   -Good and Cheap: Eat Well on $4/Day.

 

It will direct you to a free PDF file you can store on your computer.

You see, I often say that preppers and survivalists are really bad at Transitional Phases. They are planning for a future event and they just cant wrap their heads around that it has already arrived. It just looks different than the SHTF brochure.

I am quoting once again from one of my old articles because its relevant to this post-

“People complain about the rising cost of food. If you believe that…it is because our society has become totally out of touch with their own food production. Read that line again.

Food will NEVER BE CHEAPER THAN IT IS TODAY. Industrialised food production is INSANELY cheap. Its totally creepy. That they can ship food from across the continent cheaper than you can grow it locally….creepy. No other good word but CREEPY….and fragile. If you have any fantasy that it will be cheaper to grow your own food, just knock that shit right out of you. You cannot compete with , on one hand, multi million dollar (Big bank Financed) industrial mega farms, and on the other hand, exploited small farmers making a couple bucks an hour, always one harvest away from losing their farm. Total exploitation. It’s the problem with capitalism that no one but me talks about. Eventually, all the capital ends up in a few hands while destroying every one else that cant compete with the big boys. Tyranny. That is where we are today. Eventually all capital theoretically ends up in one hand. That is the nature of our competitive system . Trickle Down?…my unwashed ass . You cannot compete with McFoodCorp. Don’t even try. Growing your own food is way more expensive. You don’t do it to save or make money. You do it for FOOD SOVERNTY. You must be willing to pay your local farmers more for food…to keep that food local…and within your grasp as the 2000 mile food chain breaks down.

But while we have it…there is no good reason not to have a stocked pantry…other than being a FAKE prepper.
“FOOD STORAGE- Because its Cheap. Because its Easy. Because your great grandparents wouldn’t understand why you didn’t and would be really angry with you.” (Chris Martenson)
We are talking prepping for poor or under prepared people here. Forget all about specialty prepper food here. No freeze dried #10 cans or MREs or any of that stuff unless you have extra cash to burn. Just buy the usual stuff you usually eat…but buy more of it…when it’s on sale…for a third or half the price. Use what you store. Store what you use. There is no need to traumatise yourself with huge costs. If you just pick up 6 extra cans when you stumble across them half price…it accumulates really fast. Your grocery bill actually goes way down. Here is the good news. Most of the crap food we ship across the continent is prepared in a way that it stores a real long time. Forget all about the Sell By dates. I’m fine eating a 5 year old canned food or rice or pasta.”

So, hear are a few other tips we learned in our travels. Down in Peru, certain food was cheap, cheap, cheap. Produce. Fruits and veggies. This is what happens when you only pay people a few dollars a day for hard labour, in a country with deceptive labour laws and no real safety net. Coming to a deregulated free market capitalist country near you.

And before I get too far, As a bonus, we will send you two more cheap assed shelf storable foods if you order today…..

Ramen noodles… and Corn meal. My mind chose to focus on this in our travels. Let me explain.

My gods! You can still get ramen noodle packs for about a quarter…in spite of inflation. Lets put that in perspective. Canadian pennies are now gone. The nickles arent even worth using any more. Dimes are the new pennies. Dimes and quarters are almost worth throwing out or turning into washers. Washers are more expensive. Yet you can buy a meal for a quarter that will last at least a decade.

But you cant really call it food. Yet this should be the most obvious food to Addenda. It shows it right on the damned package. At least on the good ones that cost more….but taste better. The actual Asian ones. They have more packets in them with oils, garlic paste, dried meats and veggies, etc. But even still, its only supposed to be a base. You addenda vegetables and meats. Duh. That means you can take a product for one measly quarter… and feed at least a couple of people on it, using up leftovers and scraps from the fridge…or foraged greens and meats. Alot of foraged greens or meat is hard to choke down. This is how you make it edible.  It also helps you psychologically transition from a food source you have grown up on…to developing a taiste for foraged foods that that your mind might reject. We developed food burn out in South America. Its a real issue that few in the prepping food storage community talk about. So I ate alot of noodle packs (though they were a lot more expensive in our travels. The real cost of un subsidized shipping and oil. Coming to a continent near you) but I added other food stuffs to it to turn it into a real meal… just like they showed on the packet. Some times I would just put  an egg in to boil as the noodles are cooking to reduce fuel costs. A penny earned.. It has been my experience that noodle packs that are a few years old, take a little longer to cook.

So, lets recap. 25c to 2$ meal that feeds two after addendum with whatever else you have. Can I possibly make food storage any cheaper?

Why, Yes I can, other C5. Yes I can.

Consistently, the single cheapest industrial food to be found in any supermarket, even in Barbados… was corn meal. Now, corn meal doesnt have a very long shelf life. Its for use within a couple years. We have been eating some that is about 3 years old and am surprised with the lack of rancidness. We learn as we do. Things subject to going rancid, like nuts, oils or flower, should really be stored in the freezer or fridge.

The most boring but simple use of corn meal is to breakfast cereal it up like cream of wheat. Yuck. Cream of snot. It will take some serious addendum. But why waist typing time.

Corn bread is the big one. Its been a staple in poorer communities forever. I’ll eat it but I am not a big fan. But it gets way better once you start to addenda it. Add canned or frozen or fresh corn to it. Onions. Greens like spinach, beet tops or the one tolerable wild green, lambs quarters. And left over meat. Ham chunks or bacon. Yum. Now corn bread is something I might get exited about. For 2.50 a bag, I’ll learn to Adapt.

So, that is why this not so very sexy post is important enough that I put all this effort into it.

Psychological prepping….

It is learning to accept that, as things break down, you may have to work labour jobs that pay way less than minimum wage, no matter how skilled and privileged and indispensable you think you are. You think it is bad now, with 70 year olds stocking shelves at walmart? Amerikans got all righteous indignation in the face of their Recession that is not really a Recession. In spite of what you hear from the talking parrot at the top, the economy is not booming. They are just repeating a lie over and over again from the oval tweeting pulpit till people believe it and repeat it. Chocolate rations are not down. They are up 10 grams. So says the ministry of truth. People got in their 2 minutes of hate on the internet and then the poll both. They were ripe to hear, “make merika great again”

And they believe that shit. News flash. Nothing can stop the avalanche. The fundamentals are the same. Same debt based economy. Same resource depletion. Same lowering of  purchasing power. Same shitting where we eat.

So, True story. I was shucking peas in front of the TV while drinking a twelve pack. After a few hours of mindless shucking, I had a bag of peas to put in the freezer. Sure. they were nice, near organic peas but that is not the point. I could have bought the bag of peas in the store for about 5$. Net loss to me? At least 25$, dozens of hours… and a hang over.

MrsC5 took this opportunity to bite. Basic dog psychology. She said, “Well. That is not very good use of your prepping time. Now, is it?”.

I understand what is going on. The female is testing me. She wants to know if I am a submissive. So I shoot her a Han Solo cocky smile and say, “This is psychological prepping. Its not just a job for ‘Brown’ people anymore, Princess. Get used to it”.

Relationship balance restored. She has affirmation that I can be a man when the chips are down. This, subconsciously, makes her feel safe. Just encase you are wondering what is going on.

If you ever wonder about this Blog and its value to “Actual Survival”, Its main purpose is to confront you with the same question….

“Its not just a job for ‘Brown’ people anymore, Princess. Get used to it”

 

 

We have covered all of this stuff on food before, though I might have been being sneaky about it.

First we covered Survival Acres 5 part series, The Fallacy of Bugging OUT, to kick the shit out of the idea that their will be food waiting for you, or you can grow what you need in time in the wilderness if you Bug Out. We stomped that idea so thoroughly that the Zombie corpse would never be able to rise from the grave again. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/06/23/c5-presents-the-fallacy-of-bugging-out-part-i-by-survival-acres/

We covered the absolute cheapest store-able food. Wheat Berries. I went to a person that says things that doesn’t represent me or my views in the slightest. But when a person is right… they are right. I think he sees the same in me. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/06/09/c5-presents-the-worlds-most-boring-survival-advice-also-the-best/

I then covered, if you have no money at all, taking advantage of waist food in our system, by getting your class issues dirty.  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/07/21/c5-practical-survival-advice-for-the-poor-when-its-already-too-late-to-prep/

Then I taught you how to get food for a food storage on the cheap. The “Junk” food, corporations sell for almost free. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/11/16/c5-practical-survival-advice-for-the-poor-episode-iii-taming-the-hunter-gatherer-instinct/

Then I showed you what REAL food production would be like without oil and just how busy you will be each and every year. That you Can Not do it on your own. Especially without the knowledge.  https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/10/19/tales-from-the-dark-green-valley/

Then I got Naked to show you some work arounds. Self Reinforcing Permaculture food systems that grow whether you are there of not. https://darkgreenmountainsurvivalresearchcentre.wordpress.com/2017/12/13/return-to-the-dark-green-mountain-the-naked-truth/

And now I have brought you Re… to teach you what to do with your cheap, stored food.

I also threw in some posts on animal production but I am no expert in that subject. A rank amateur.

On the general overview of “Dont Starve To Death Club” That is all I got. I have badgered it to death and I will keep badgering it.

 

FOOD

IT IS THE ALPHA AND OMEGA OF SURVIVAL. The Beginning and the End. Every thing else is ADDENDUM. If you do not have that, You really have NOTHING. And You have NO CHANCE.

 

One last unauthorized promotion. All the advice I just gave you is of questionable health benefit. People may trip over their own classicism or food purity self rules. How about I give you some healthier food… and what to do with food storage once industrial food storage is all gone… and food storage is what you now do with food you actually grew…and stored.

For this I turn to FarmGal at Just Another Day On The Farm.

I think I might have accidentally scared away FarmGal. I may have accidentally insulted her with my random Bratty comments. One local friend, I was surprised had been reading my blog. She commented that it was more fun because she knew the writer. Her words. “I am reading along, being challenged….and then Comes that moment when I realized,  he decided it was time to be a Brat.”

Yup. That’s me. Its my most charming quality. But you might take it personally if you didn’t see the quirky smile. That I was just being a brat. If I am really picking a fight, you will know it because I will name names and call that person out.

Farmgal is a top tier prepper. Some people have Fantasy Football teams. If I had a Fantasy Prepper Team, I’d make Farmgal the Captain. Thanks for coming to my apocalypse. You are in charge now….

So. What does a Top Tier Prepper do? Not alot of running around in camo. She grows food. Then she eats food.

Much of her blog posts are her doing recipes. If you look a bit closer… you realize its food she had grown, gathered and stored from the season before. It was time to eat it. Yup. When The Shit Hits The Fan, you are going to need a good cook. That is real power. I pledge my allegiance… to the person that magically provides food. Nothing Magic about it though. That type of thinking about food magically appearing is what has got us into this mess.

You can find Team Captain Farmgal here.

https://livingmydreamlifeonthefarm.com/

 

So, if FOOD is the Alpha and the Omega of survival,… it sure seems sexy to me….

True story. I met MrsC5 online. After she contacted me… I read her profile and responded,…

“When I saw that you grow, can and cook your own food, It gave me a bit of wood”.

Survivalist Sexy. Oh Ya, Baby. Give me some sugar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Knarf plays the Doomer Blues

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Quote from: Eddie on Today at 07:48:09 AMActually C5 is a good writer. He's a little obsessed with shipping containers and tin roofs,Soooooo...... Once the weather warms up enough to stop doing the fence.........

Quote from: Eddie on Today at 07:48:09 AMActually C5 is a good writer. He's a little obsessed with shipping containers and tin roofs, but I share his views on both those things. I'd like to have a shipping container or ...

Quote from: AZFor example, predators such as Jimmy Saville and Jerry Sandusky managed to get away with their crimes for decades by using this strategy.As I detailed in an article last week, there have been many cases in recent history where establishment ...

Actually C5 is a good writer. He's a little obsessed with shipping containers and tin roofs, but I share his views on both those things. I'd like to have a shipping container or two myself, but good ones aren't what I consider cheap here. I guess it's ...

Quote from: RE on Today at 06:30:45 AMIn this case I finally decided on a Soup🍜4Lunch choice, Lentil Soup.  Anytime you choose a soup🍜 as a main course for your meal, it has to be a thick, rich and hearty one.  One of m...

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