A New Administration Takes Control of the House

 

 

 

 

When you put a dumb slob in charge of the House, it’s amazing how fast things go downhill. (Photo by Ryo Chijiiwa/Flickr)

 

 

 

 

Almost a week ago now, She Who Must be Obeyed decamped to Florida. That left me, for the first time in ages, in total charge of the government of this House, and gave me a chance to deconstruct the oppressive administrative state under which I had been suffocating.

I began by signing several executive orders repealing long-standing, senseless regulations. It is now okay, for example, to leave the toilet seat in the up position, for the convenience of the male member of the household, so to speak. Eating ice cream directly from the carton, for hours at a time, is perfectly acceptable. Portion control, especially where steaks and french fries are concerned, is a thing of the past. Having a beer for breakfast, or declaring happy hour to be any hour that appears on a clock, are now deregulated practices. If any of these practices have serious side effects, I don’t know about them, and if I don’t know about them they cannot possibly hurt me.

I will admit that, especially on the first few nights, I experienced a few bouts of midnight nausea and early-morning headaches. Such is the price of freedom.

This is, after all, what the American people — well, at least male American people — have been yearning for, for these many years: a chance to let their inner slob run free. Political correctness has robbed us of our pride, not to mention our natural odor and our butchering skills. So it is a great relief to have no controls once again. You know, like when we were pre-teenagers.

Dirty clothes go anywhere. Dirty dishes pile up in and near the sink, dining room, living room and bedroom. Dust bunnies swirl across the floors like tumbleweeds in a Texas windstorm.  Stereo and TV volume controls are set on “stun” and stay there, while the dusty drum set gets dragged out and pounded to within an inch of its life. (Although this brought an intrusion from the Judicial Branch of home government — the neighbors called the cops. Turns out that “if the head of the House does it, it’s legal” does not apply outside the House. Either.)

The one big project I always intended to do if I ever got possession of the House for long enough was to build a soundproof no-girls-allowed man-cave tree-house with a wet bar — and get Mexico to pay for it. Unbelievably, the project got vetoed by the bank, the neighbors, and She Who Must Be Obeyed.

Who returns tomorrow.

So the dishwasher, clothes washer, vacuum cleaner and shower are all running non stop. I haven’t had a drink in an hour, and tonight it’s a sensible dinner and early bedtime. Tomorrow it’s back to a life of rules, manners, restraints, proscriptions, order and cleanliness. No longer President of the House, I will have to content myself once again with being just the Loyal Opposition, complaining vociferously about the administrative state.

What a blessed relief.  

 

The Fakest News of All: The Fracking Revolution

Experienced con artists — the people who write clickbait ads, manage political campaigns and shake down old people for what’s left of their life’s savings —  will tell you that people who get conned, want to be conned. Many, many people go through their lives straining to hear the magic words; “You deserve to be rich,” or “Someone has to win the lottery, why not you?” or “cure cancer with one simple trick.” And when they hear those words, they experience the irrational exuberance of long-denied, at-last-confirmed faith, and are likely to do anything they are asked to do by those who have fulfilled the prophecy.

That’s the way it has gone with one of the longest and most successful cons in American history — the New American Oil Revolution, aka the Fracking Revolution. “You deserve all the cheap oil you can use,” the frackers began to croon about a decade ago, “America deserves energy independence.” People who had always wanted those things, and thought they deserved those things, sat up and took notice as the con artists set the hook: “we can have it forever with one simple trick of technology.”

Fracking. The greatest con, ever. If you want to read almost ten years’ worth of fracking debunking, go to the Energy section of The Daily Impact and read your heart out. I have grown tired of writing the same things over and over, so I don’t do it much anymore,  but here’s a quick recap:

  • fracked oil is an inferior product with limited uses that can not be taken in by just any refinery, so its price is usually discounted below that of ordinary crude;
  • fracked oil is devilishly expensive to get out of the ground, as it requires enormous quantities of water, sand and toxic chemicals to break it loose;
  • fracking wells play out within four years (traditional wells get around 20 years, at least) which means that if you’re a fracker you have to find and start developing your next well the minute your current well is in production;
  • as a result of the tight margins and high capital expenses, virtually no one has made any money fracking oil. Really. They claim profits from individual wells, but all the profits and more are required to get the next well ready to go;
  • the only thing that has sustained the industry this long is the gullibility of the junk-bond and subprime-loan investors who still believe they deserve to get 20% interest on their investments, and will shovel money at anyone who promises it to them.

And the reason the hedge-fund gamblers still push the chips across the table to the frackers, as frantic and delusional as their bets have become? The gullible media, most of whom have bought whole hog the improbable story of the fracking miracle and an imminent return to energy independence. (They even got Hillary Clinton, who during the 2016 campaign developed some expertise on fake news, but still succumbed to this con. See: “Hillary Hallucinates Energy Independence,”  The Daily Impact, October 10, 2016)

As just one example of the mindless fluff being pumped out everywhere, all the time, by the corporate shills, check out CNN’s offering, “Here Comes the Next Wave of the US Oil Boom.” It’s like watching one of those TV commercial animations explaining how laxatives work. Wouldn’t it be great if things were that simple.

Where to get the real story? A few places, such as SRSrocco, Oilprice.com (sometimes), and the like, have been consistently and strenuously trying to tell the truth all along, but have been drowned out by the “Happy Days” crowd.

For a reality check, take the time to read all of SRSrocco’s reports, MEDIA DELUDE AMERICANS: Shale Oil Production Suffers Massive Decline Rates, and the related US SHALE GAS INDUSTRY: Countdown to Disaster.

Fake news gives you a momentary thrill and distracts you until the speeding truck runs you over. The truth, in this case, won’t make us feel better, let alone setting us free. But it will prepare us to make better decisions in the future that is now bearing down on us, like for example getting off the road where the speeding trucks are.