Doomstead Diner Menu

[RE]

It's real purty.

When I was buying the new binocs, I had to listen to the Cabela's rep tell me about this AK bear hunt, after I spilled the beans about what I was going to be doing with my new binocs.

Found one pair of my old binocs in the missus's camping backpack while we were packing , natch.....so now i have to use those and give her the new ones. Hardly fair, LOL. The old ones weren't bad though. Leupolds. Good brand. Glad they turned up.

Long as I have you on the line....the only thing i didn't make a hard copy of was the campsite reservations. Think I need to print those, or do you have it in hand?

I have hard copies of all reservations as well as local maps to the campsites.  We're covered there.

I am being thwarted in my plans to smoke a couple of slabs of Baby Back Ribs today for grilling tomorrow when we get to the Mountain.  It's fucking raining Cats & Dogs and it's cold out too!  I don't feel like setting up the moker apparatus  and then have to take it down and pack it up again.  I'll just smoke as soon as we arrive at the campsite.

RE

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[Eddie]

The Denali 10 day forecast sounds decent, but Seward has 90% chance of rain every day almost. Looks like a wet boat ride. Doesn't matter to me, though.

No worries on the food front. The missus wants to hit 3 Bears and get her rabbit food supplies anyway, cuz she's afraid you'll only be serving meat at every meal, LOL.

Got to humor her. It's the best way. Trust me. And don't tell her I said that. LOL.

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[RE]

The Denali 10 day forecast sounds decent, but Seward has 90% chance of rain every day almost. Looks like a wet boat ride. Doesn't matter to me, though.

No worries on the food front. The missus wants to hit 3 Bears and get here rabbit food supplies anyway, cuz she's afraid you'll only be serving meat at every meal, LOL.

Got to humor her. It's the best way. Trust me. And don't tell her I said that. LOL.

Despite rumours to the contrary, one thing I do know about is pleasing women with food.  I already bought the oranges and strawberries and I have blueberries too (I like blueberries with sour cream).  I also have a variety of cheese based dishes and snacks and I will be grilling some fresh veggies also.  My first day soup is all vegan.  I am balancing out the heavy meat & fish component coming off the grill. 

I pulled the Steaks for the first night out of the freezer to defrost in the fridge and the SideStriper Shrimp also.  You can be in charge of the Shrimp if you like.  I was going to do Steak & Salmon as the 1st night Surf & Turf, but the appearance of the Stripers modified the plan.  We'll do the Salmon on Fri or Sun.

Food store stop tomorrow will be Carr's, not 3 Bears.  They have the best Bagels and I want them FRESH out of the oven.  Also, they are right across the parking lot from Khaladi Bros Coffee where we need to pick up the Beans.

RE

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[Eddie]

Good enough.  See you in the morning. I'll check in when I can.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, man. But you know I love good food, so thanks.

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[RE]

Good enough.  See you in the morning. I'll check in when I can.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, man. But you know I love good food, so thanks.

As I said before, this is no trouble.  This is FUN for me.  For you, this trip is about seeing Alaska for the first time, for me it is about COOKING!  I don't have people to cook for normally, now you are a captive audience. lol.

I figure you to arrive here between 1-2AM.  Would that be about right?

RE

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[Surly1]

Good enough.  See you in the morning. I'll check in when I can.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, man. But you know I love good food, so thanks.

As I said before, this is no trouble.  This is FUN for me.  For you, this trip is about seeing Alaska for the first time, for me it is about COOKING!  I don't have people to cook for normally, now you are a captive audience. lol.

I figure you to arrive here between 1-2AM.  Would that be about right?

RE

Send post cards to those us us not going, which is all the rest of us.

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[Eddie]

Good enough.  See you in the morning. I'll check in when I can.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, man. But you know I love good food, so thanks.

As I said before, this is no trouble.  This is FUN for me.  For you, this trip is about seeing Alaska for the first time, for me it is about COOKING!  I don't have people to cook for normally, now you are a captive audience. lol.

I figure you to arrive here between 1-2AM.  Would that be about right?

RE

ETA is 1:09 am to Ted Stevens, and a short taxi ride to the RV place should put us there by 2 am at the latest. I'll try to drag my butt out fairly early so I can get to your place by 10-ish. There is a bit of rental paperwork, I'm sure, and some kind of walk-through. I'll do the best i can. Usually traveling West is easier for me to adapt to the time change than going the other way.

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[Eddie]

Good enough.  See you in the morning. I'll check in when I can.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, man. But you know I love good food, so thanks.

As I said before, this is no trouble.  This is FUN for me.  For you, this trip is about seeing Alaska for the first time, for me it is about COOKING!  I don't have people to cook for normally, now you are a captive audience. lol.

I figure you to arrive here between 1-2AM.  Would that be about right?

RE

Send post cards to those us us not going, which is all the rest of us.

I'm sure I'll be holding the camera while RE is channeling the late Anthony Bourdain. Should be hilarious.

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[RE]

Good enough.  See you in the morning. I'll check in when I can.

You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, man. But you know I love good food, so thanks.

As I said before, this is no trouble.  This is FUN for me.  For you, this trip is about seeing Alaska for the first time, for me it is about COOKING!  I don't have people to cook for normally, now you are a captive audience. lol.

I figure you to arrive here between 1-2AM.  Would that be about right?

RE

ETA is 1:09 am to Ted Stevens, and a short taxi ride to the RV place should put us there by 2 am at the latest. I'll try to drag my butt out fairly early so I can get to your place by 10-ish. There is a bit of rental paperwork, I'm sure, and some kind of walk-through. I'll do the best i can. Usually traveling West is easier for me to adapt to the time change than going the other way.

You're not going to get to the Valley until 10?!?!?!  AAACCKKKK!  That totally screws up all my planning.

RE

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[Eddie]

Well, how early were you thinking?

Maybe if I catch some sleep on the plane I can roll out earlier...but I doubt the place opens before 8 am, and I won't have the ignition key until the paperwork is finished.

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[RE]

Well, how early were you thinking?

Maybe if I catch some sleep on the plane I can roll out earlier...but I doubt the place opens before 8 am, and I won't have the ignition key until the paperwork is finished.

I *thought* we left it that you would pick up the RV and drive out to the Valley and spend the night here rather than sleeping in the RV in Anchorage.  Now you will hit traffic going through Anchorage and lose time there.  We won't make Denali until well into the afternoon this way.

RE

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[Eddie]

Sorry. I have to talk to humans when they open. Not avoidable. I'll get up there asap.

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[RE]

I am beginning this morning anew with the most Basic of Breakfasts, at least in the Western Menu, Bacon 🥓 & Eggs 🍳.

This because I have realized that my passion for food (mainly in the past since I don't really enjoy eating it all that much now) is just my own passion and not transferrable to others.  It is not a replacement for being able to take care of your own needs as a cripple.  It's just a handy ability to have on the few occassions you actually are hungry and feel like taking the time & trouble to cook up a meal for yourself, which doesn't come too often when you are a cripple who wants to die as soon as possible without having to pull the trigger himself.

It's hard to imagine how far back in the mysts of time bacon 🥓 and eggs 🍳 go as Breakfast Food for Homo Saps.  Well at least the Eggs 🍳 part anyhow, the Bacon🥓 probably had to wait until the advent of Agriculture and raising Pigs in the backyard.  Before that Breakfast Meat no doubt mainly consisted of last night's BBQed Squirrel on a spit not quite finished off.  Get the fire going again,quick re-heat (the Microwave of the era), two fresh eggs 🍳 from a nearby Robin's Nest and you were good to go for the day.  Or maybe you went over to the Beach and dug up a couple of Oysters nice and fresh to go with your eggs 🍳 instead of the leftover squirrel meat.  How much time did the early Homo Sap actually spend in preparing and savoring over his daily Breakfast Meal?  When did he begin thinking this was so important a daily ritual that it deserved the time spent on making stuff like Souffles and Quiches?  Of course pre-Ag he didn't even HAVE Oats to use in any great quantity to make a cup of Quaker Oats Banana-Walnut Oats with Irish Butter to top it off for the starter meal of the day.

Now we have this though, and all over the planet amongst the relatively well-to-do Bacon 🥓 & Eggs 🍳 or some facsimile thereof is THE STANDARD for Breakfast.  The really poor of course are still quite happy if they get some Ramen Noodles for Breakfast or stale bread.  Bacon 🥓(or other leftover breakfast meat) & Eggs 🍳 is high quality, high protein *well up the food chain* in breakfasts for any any animal.  Homo Saps have regularly been eating this breakfast though for at least 200,000 years, and probably a good deal longer than that.  We are and have been the Apex Predator here on Earth for a long time, and in fact it is pretty surprising it took us as long as it did to eat through what the planet can actually supply on a daily basis for nourishment.  Back in the Malthus Era they thought Max Food Production for the planet was going to arrive any day and we would suffer mass starvation, and it almost did if it wasn't for the fortuitous discovery of millions of years worth of fossil fuels buried in the ground to grow still more gobs of food with which to feed the multiplying numbers of Homo Sap Meat Packages.

This morning though I am just going to enjoy a Bacon 🥓 & Egg 🍳 breakfast, with my Eggs 🍳  done Over EZ instead of the runny Scrambled Eggs 🍳 I asked my Cripple Helper Eddie to make for me while we were on the Last Great Alaskan Bucket List Adventure.  This morning I can cook these Eggs 🍳 myself and not be a Crippled Burden to my friends as I consume my daily sustenance, which as a Useless Eater  receiving Mailbox Money paid for by the ever-escalating Taxes of Millenials and GenXers I probably do not deserve anymore and will soon enough not be able to get at the local Food Pantry served up with the Goobermint Cheese and whatever else Da Goobermint can keep it together to provide for the population once the Capitalist markets finish their Collapse.  On second thought, I probably won't be alive to experience that aspect of the Spin Down we are due for here as time goes by in Collapse.  I look likely to die before the Bacon 🥓 & Eggs 🍳 run out at 3 Bears, my local Food Superstore.

I hope you enjoy your Bacon 🥓 & Eggs 🍳 this morning as much as I do.  They have been around a long time, but they won't be around forever.

RE

RE

Bacon & Eggs 🍳

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[RE]

Today's Lunch is a Fillet Mignon 🥩 Sandwich, as it will be for several days to come here in the RE Digs, while I attempt to keep my resurrected appetite alive here after the Last Great Alaskan Bucket List Adventure.  The Fillet 🥩 was among the several Gourmet Meals I had planned for this trip which I never got to cook and Eddie never got to eat.  Another thing he won't ever have experience with, the RE excellent Chef RE.  He'll only remember the RE with the over-done Ribeye Steaks 🥩 cooked in a rush RE at the first campsite.  The cripple he was sick of shepherding around by the 3rd day together.

For dinner tonight I will have a grilled Salmon 🐟 fillet, maybe 1/4 of it if I can manage to consume that much tonight.  The rest I will mush up with softened Cream Cheese, Sour Cream, Lemon & Dill to make a Salmon 🐟 Dip that may last another week eating it on soft pieces of French Bread since I can't eat crunchy chips due to a lack of teeth for that task.  Then I also have a pound of Scallop pieces due to go in a Wild Rice & Mushroom Soup ammended as a Fish 🐟 Chowder with the Scallops and maybe some Salmon 🐟 I was going to make on the trip which I might end up having a bowl of before the rest of it goes in the trash, and then there is about a half a pound of Sidestriper Shrimp 🦐 we threw out the first day after cooking about half of what I had as Shrimp🦐-on-the-Barbie with the over-cooked steaks.  It was still good but too Spicy for me when Eddie spiced it up with the Cajun spices I brought for that purpose on the trip.

Like everything else for me on this trip, the Cooking Adventure was a complete failure.  No videos got made, not even a video of making a fire with all the cool Fire-Starters I made to bring along for the trip and demonstrate to Diner Readers that I can make a fire without resorting to dousing a pile of pre-cut wood with half a bottle of Lighter Fluid out of the Fracking Fields in the Bakken.  I of course never got to go scrambling over any rain-soaked trails in the shadow of the tallest mountain in North America with my friends.  I sat parked in the Jump Seat of the RV for 4 hours without even the Internet and Doom to entertain me since there was no 3G Internet at Denali State Park.  I was bored out of my skull and eventually to entertain myself went to the bathroom, where I fell asleep.  That about sums up the extent of my adventure on this journey.  Of course the fire-starters had lighter fluid of a sort in them also, a couple of dabs of Vaseline, aka Petroleum Jelly pasted onto cotton balls as a fire accelerant.  Makes a great fire starter and is relatively damp-proof out in the rain to get a fire going, although granted in this situation this weekend even they didn't work too well and we resorted to the Lighter Fluid method in the end there too.

I expected to be depressed as a let-down after this "final" Last Great Adventure, but I didn't expect to be THIS depressed and in exactly this way.  I expected to be depressed that the trip was over, and that I didn't have it to look forward to anymore and plan for.  Instead, I am depressed because the trip was a complete failure for me that I didn't enjoy taking at all.  All I succeeded in doing with this trip was demonstrating to Eddie what an utterly helpless individual I have become, who he would have dumped off in the forest somewhere if he could have got away with it by the 3rd Day.  For myself, I sat in pain most days in the jump seat of an RV, unable to even get up and get myself a cookie out of the fridge.  That cookie is all I thought about for several hours, not the beautiful scenery along the road between Kenai & Anchorage.

So now I am stuck with the Leftovers from this Failure of a Bucket List Vacation, a bunch of really expensive food anybody in Bangladesh or Yemen today can only dream of but which will be an effort for me to shove in my mouth before it goes bad.  Every bite I manage to take will remind me what a total waste of life I am and how worthless I am to my friends now.  If there ever was truly one of Winston Churchill's "Useless Eaters", I am one of them now.  I am however for this week a Useless Eater who is eating Gourmet Food.  Next week I vow to return to canned soups and the occasional Subway Sandwich as sustenance and leave my food fantasies here on the pages of the Diner Daily Food Specials.

RE

Fillet Mignon 🥩 Sandwich

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[RE]

I am just back from Fred Myer's Food Superstore, not because of any shortage of food here in the RE Digs, but due to a lack of BOOZE.  I have been "off the wagon" for a while here, since before the Last Great Alaskan Bucket List Adventure, although my consumption of the stuff is vastly reduced from what it used to be.  These days, if I knock back 2 glasses of wine in a day this is a lot for me.  Used to be I would finish off 2 bottles in a day or a 12-pack of beer while I penned my tomes on the Collapse of Industrial Civilization here on the pages of the Doomstead Diner.  You can trace the drop in my output of essays by the drop in the input of alcohol to fuel the writing muse over these last months.

Despite having more than enough Gourmet Foods supplies to last me more than a week of high class eating, guess what I did?  I bought ANOTHER big package of Chicken Wings, because they were ON SALE for $1.79/lb in the 5 lb family size pack.  All last week I was looking for Chicken Wings to make Teriyaki Wings and Buffalo Wings as Snacks for the LGABLA, which if I had made might have saved me from dreaming of that Cookie for the drive from Seward to Anchorage on Sunday evening.  On the other hand, I wouldn't have been able to get the wings out of the fridge whilst under way either.

Anyhow, this is such a ridiculously low price for Animal Protein it's not even funny, and actually I like Chicken Wings just about as much as I like Fillet Mignon, and they cost me 1/10th the price.  This means I can throw out 9/10ths of them and it will cost me almost nothing to do that.  In more normal times, a package of wings like this got additional use besides originally eating the wings as an appetizer for whatever meal I was BBQing up on my Cast Iron Hibachi for mom & friends & relatives behind MY HOUSE in Flushing, where I cut my teeth as a BBQ expert in my pre-teen years after returning from Brasil.  I collected everybody's bones along with the first section of nearly meatless wing I cut off to make the Party Wings and would simmer all that for a few hours afterward to make a nice rich Chicken Soup broth to go with a Matzoh Ball or Won Ton Soup I would make to go with dinner the next day.  This has it all over just cracking a can of condensed Chicken broth to make your soup from.

Anyhow, the Chicken Wings will go in the fridge for tonight; on schedule for Gourmet Cooking tonight is the large Silver Salmon fillet, which I intended to "Plank" smoke on the grill on the LGABLA.  In plank smoking you place your steak or fish on a solid wood plank which as it heats up over the coals emits whatever flavors and odors that type of wood has, much more so than just wood chips in your smoker and more directly into the meat.  This of course adds about $4 to the cost of whatever piece of meat or fish it was you were BBQing up, a typical plank being good for about 1.5 lbs of any given cut of meat.  They're not re-usable.  I had a nice Cedar Plank along for the ride on the LGABLA, but cooking the Salmon fillet was another meal I did not get to cook on this trip and Eddie did not get to eat.  So the Plank is back here home with me, but I am NOT going to waste it on this Salmon fillet which will only go to feed me and mostly will end up in the trash I am sure.  A regular grilling with some lemon,garlic butter and dill will suffice quite well for this piece of fish tonight.

Tomorrow for Breakfast I will go with Teriyaki Wings as my Breakfast Meat and do an Egg Scramble with some Onions and Tomatoes to go with that as the morning meal.  Then I will see if I have enough room in the freezer for all the rest of the wings, to dribble out over the winter months whilst I recall why I never will again go on a camping vacation with anyone I expect to retain a friendship with.

RE

Grilled & Planked Salmon

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