AuthorTopic: Elon Musk Founds the Tobor Company  (Read 313 times)

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Elon Musk Founds the Tobor Company
« on: April 01, 2018, 02:10:50 AM »


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Published on the Doomstead Diner on April 1, 2018



 






Discuss this article at the Science & Technology Table inside the Diner



It was revealed today that Elon Musk is starting a new company which will focus on Robotics and moving Human Consciouness into robotic bodies.  It is called Tobor, which is Robot spelled backwards.



"We are very excited about the future of this company." Elon said.  "We expect to roll out the first models shortly after Goldman Sachs underwrites the IPO for $1T in 2019."  The Stock Market Ticker Code for the new Tobor Company is T8M.  You can buy stock from Ameritrade.com when it is launched.



Numerous Geriatric Billionaires have signed up and put down deposits on the Tobor Model 8 (known as "Tobor the Eight Man"), below is the list  of aging Billionaires who have put down $100M deposits in order to get one of the first of Elon Musk's robotic bodies to shift their consciousness into on SHTF Day.  Here is the current list of investors:



 





1917: Raymond Perelman










Shahar Azran—WireImage/Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $0.9 (per Wealth-X)



Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Founder and chairman of RGP Holdings





1918: Chang Yun Chung (aka Teo Woon Tiong)






Image result for Chang Yun Chung



Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $1.7



Where From: Singapore



How He Got Rich: Co-founder of Pacific International Lines.





1919: N/A





1920: Aloysio de Andrade Faria






Image result for Aloysio de Andrade Faria



Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $2.4



 


Where From: Brazil



How He Got Rich: Inherited Banco Real from his father, and chairman of Alfa Bank.





1921: David Consunji






Image result for David Consunji



Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $3.1



 


Where From: Philippines



How He Got Rich: Founder and chairman of conglomerate DMCI.





1922: Liliane Bettencourt










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $39.5



 


Where From: France



How She Got Rich: Heir to L’Oréal fortune.





1923: Robert Kuok










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $11.4



 


Where From: Malaysia



How He Got Rich: Founder of conglomerate Kuok Group.





1924: Henry Sy










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $12.7



 


Where From: Philippines



How He Got Rich: Founder of conglomerate SMIC.





1925: Serge Dassault










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $16.1



 


Where From: France



How He Got Rich: Heir to conglomerate GIMD.





1926: Hans Rausing










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $12.5



 


Where From: Sweden



How He Got Rich: Heir to Tetra Pak.





1927: Samuel Newhouse Jr.










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $12.1



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Heir, and co-owner, of Advance Publications.





1928: Li Ka-shing










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $31.2



 


Where From: Hong Kong



How He Got Rich: Chairman of conglomerate CK Hutchison.





1929: Pallonji Mistry










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $14.3



 


Where From: Ireland, via India



How He Got Rich: Largest shareholder in conglomerate Tata Group.





1930: Warren Buffett










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $75.6



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Chairman, and largest stockholder, of Berkshire Hathaway.





1931: Rupert Murdoch










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $13.6



 


Where From: Australia



How He Got Rich: Executive chairman of 21st Century Fox and News Corp.





1932: Donald Bren










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $15.2



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Chairman of real estate investment firm, Irvine Company.





1933: Sheldon Adelson










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $30.4



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Founder and chief executive of Las Vegas Sands.





1934: Pauline MacMillan Keinath






Image result for Pauline MacMillan Keinath



Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $6.8



 


Where From: America



How She Got Rich: Great-granddaughter of the founder of Cargill.





1935: Charles Koch










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $48.3



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Chairman and chief executive of Koch Industries, which was created by his father.





1936: Amancio Ortega










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $71.3



 


Where From: Spain



How He Got Rich: Founder and former chairman of Inditex, owner of Zara.





1937: Klaus-Michael Kuehne










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $12.4



 


Where From: Germany



How He Got Rich: Majority shareholder, and former chief executive, of his grandfather’s transportation firm.





1938: Phil Knight










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $26.2



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Co-founder of Nike.





1939: Jorge Paulo Lemann










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $29.2



 


Where From: Brazil



How He Got Rich: Beer magnate and investor who now owns stake in Restaurant Brands International.





1940: Carlos Slim










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $54.5



 


Where From: Mexico



How He Got Rich: Chairman and chief executive of various holdings, including Grupo Carso.





1941: Stefano Pessina










courtesy of Walgreens Boots Alliance


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $13.9



 


Where From: Italy



How He Got Rich: Chief executive and vice chairman of Walgreens Boots Alliance.





1942: Michael Bloomberg










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $47.5



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Founder and chief executive of Bloomberg





1943: Ronald Perelman










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $12.5



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Son of Raymond Perelman, chairman and chief executive of MacAndrews & Forbes





1944: Larry Ellison










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $52.3



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Co-founder and chairman of Oracle.





1945: Azim Premji










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $14.9



 


Where From: India



How He Got Rich: Chairman of Wipro, an IT firm.





1946: Peter Woo










Getty Images


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $10.5



 


Where From: China



How He Got Rich: Former chairman of Wheelock and Company, and The Wharf Holdings.





1947: Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen










courtesy of LEGO


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $21.1



 


Where From: Denmark



How He Got Rich: Heir to Lego fortune, and former president and chief executive.





1948: Jim Walton










Reuters


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $34



 


Where From: America



How He Got Rich: Heir to Walmart fortune.





1949: Bernard Arnault










AP


 




 




 





Net Worth (in billions): $41.5



 



Unfortunately for David Rockefeller and Steven Jobs, this new innovation came too late for them. ūüôĀ



  When informed that a new Robot body was fully sexually capable courtesy of technology stolen from the Japanese Sexbot manufacturers, Donald Trump also dropped in his $100M to get one of the first off the production line.  He added another $20M for one of the Options, an exceptionally large Robotic Penis.  Lengths available for the extended Penis vary from 9" to a full 1 foot in length.  Larger version are available on custom order.



The new Penis is designed to instantly jump to an erection when in the presence of an Eastern European or Norwegian model and will maintain a Woody indefinitely, thanks to the PowerWall battery supplied by Tesla to Tobor.  It will also ejaculate quarts of sperm as long as the reservoir inside the Robot is regularly refilled.  A subsidiary company of Tobor, "Sperms-R-Us" will provide refill sperm containers at Low, Low Prices Every Day. You may be able to purchase further discounted sperm containers online from Amazon and Alibaba.  Licensing details are still being worked out.  Do not buy unlicensed Sperm Containers, you may get a bad batch.



Image result for trump stormy



Image result for exploding tesla When asked whether it was possible the new Robotic Penis might EXPLODE like numerous of the Tesla carz, Mr. Musk dismissed this possibility.

"These Batteries are fully tested and well sealed inside the body of the Robot.  There is NO CHANCE these batteres could possibly EXPLODE."



Other younger forward thinking Billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg, the Winklevoss Twins and Elon Musk himself have placed orders for their new Tobor the 8 Man shells for their consciousness, along with numerous aging but not quite geriatric Billionaires yet like Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Crispin Odey and Bill Ackman have also signed up.



Major innovations are being introduced with the new Tobor models.  Carz will no longer be necessary because both of Tobor's legs are manufactured by Mr. Musk's Space X company, and will propel your new Robotic Body on a Ballistic trajectory to land anywhere on Earth in under an hour.  You can also fly straight to Mars without any additional spacecraft necessary.  SpaceX is developing Warp Drive legs that will allow you to travel between Galaxies faster than the Speed of Light.  Elon Musk has predicted these new legs will be available for the 2021 models, and upgrades to older models will be available as well.



The "Heart" of the Tobor Consciouness Container as substitute for the current Meat Package is a miniature Mr. Fusion Reactor invented by Doc Brown back in the 80s, but surpressed by the Big Oil companies so they could keep selling Oil to the sheeple.







Tobors Trekking the Stars will be able to refuel at any  Asteroids or Comets they run into in Interstellar Space.



When asked if the Tobor Company would be producing a madel more affordable for Joe 6-Pack, Elon nodded in the affirmative.  "Definitely.  We have a Tobor the 3-Man already on the drawing board and are tooling up for it now in the new Giga-factory.  Our current estimate for the price of this model is $50K.   It does have some limitations though, it will only be capable of travel within this Solar System.  You will need to upgrade if you want to do Interstellar travel."



Sentiment is high on Wall Street for the launching of the new IPO, which Lloyd Blankfein sees as the Piece de Resistance of his career as CEO with Goldman prior to retirement.  "This is the first $1T IPO EVAH!" Lloyd said at the announcement.  "We'll really sucker the Low Hanging Fruit with this one!"


SAVE AS MANY AS YOU CAN

Online Eddie

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Re: Elon Musk Founds the Tobor Company
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2018, 06:52:50 AM »
April Fool.

Good one though!
What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Online Eddie

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Re: Elon Musk Founds the Tobor Company
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2018, 07:24:45 AM »
And it does give me a nice sense of Schadenfreude to know that very old, very rich assholes gasp for their last breaths just like the rest of us, and shit the bed when they go.

I'd hate to lose that.
What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Offline azozeo

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Elon Musk opens up about Aliens
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2018, 03:30:24 PM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/hxPmow6rY2I&fs=1" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/hxPmow6rY2I&fs=1</a>
I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why youíre here. Youíre here because you know something. What you know you canít explain, but you feel it. Youíve felt it your entire life, that thereís something wrong with the world.
You donít know what it is but its there, like a splinter in your mind

 

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