AuthorTopic: Final Testament  (Read 662 times)

Offline Palloy2

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Final Testament
« on: July 09, 2018, 06:21:44 PM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/RG-bDuFk11s" target="_blank" class="new_win">http://www.youtube.com/v/RG-bDuFk11s</a>

Goodbye.

Palloy
"The State is a body of armed men."

Offline Eddie

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2018, 06:32:46 PM »
Goodbye? Hope not.
What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Offline Eddie

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Re: Alas Poor Palloy, We Hardly Knew Ye
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2018, 06:01:10 AM »
Always enigmatic and a bit secretive, Palloy has left this cryptic farewell above.

Nice video. I always liked that song a lot, ever since I first heard it many years ago now.

I don't know if it means he got tired of arguing with me and moved on to more friendly territory on the net, or whether he took the suicide pill he hinted that he would take if he needed to do that.

I suspect the former, and I certainly hope it's not the latter. I'd like to think he's still working on his little garden and getting some happiness out of his life in the Papuan jungle. But I realize I might not ever find out.

Palloy, if you didn't know, was the name of a hero of the French Revolution,a guy best known for blowing up the Bastille, the infamous prison. I always thought it was an apt handle for a guy who longed to tear down the system and replace it with a workers paradise.

I know that he very much wanted me, and anyone else he could influence, to leave BAU behind and adopt a powered-down lifestyle that would save the planet. I'm here to say that was and is a noble endeavor, even though I've not chosen to go there. I admire Palloy for walking his walk, even though I often gave him a hard time.

My issues with him had much more to do with his strident self-righteousness than it did with anything in his belief system, although I think he did (or does) give too much credit to the communist system as a means to salvation. He is not alone in this, and  I certainly have to concede that communism at least gives lip service to some worthy goals.

I will miss him, if he doesn't come back. He made a great contribution to the Diner imho, and that will be missed.

I always thought I could make friends with Palloy if I could just sit down with him in his house in the jungle and share a few beers and talk face-to face. This internet place is a shitty place to make friends, for the most part. I used to think it would bring people together, but it seems like it just lets far-flung people get together to shout at one another most of the time.

Flesh or spirit, I wish him well.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2018, 06:06:04 AM by Eddie »
What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Online RE

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Re: Alas Poor Palloy, We Hardly Knew Ye
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2018, 07:00:34 AM »
Always enigmatic and a bit secretive, Palloy has left this cryptic farewell above.

Nice video. I always liked that song a lot, ever since I first heard it many years ago now.

I don't know if it means he got tired of arguing with me and moved on to more friendly territory on the net, or whether he took the suicide pill he hinted that he would take if he needed to do that.

I suspect the former, and I certainly hope it's not the latter. I'd like to think he's still working on his little garden and getting some happiness out of his life in the Papuan jungle. But I realize I might not ever find out.

Palloy, if you didn't know, was the name of a hero of the French Revolution,a guy best known for blowing up the Bastille, the infamous prison. I always thought it was an apt handle for a guy who longed to tear down the system and replace it with a workers paradise.

I know that he very much wanted me, and anyone else he could influence, to leave BAU behind and adopt a powered-down lifestyle that would save the planet. I'm here to say that was and is a noble endeavor, even though I've not chosen to go there. I admire Palloy for walking his walk, even though I often gave him a hard time.

My issues with him had much more to do with his strident self-righteousness than it did with anything in his belief system, although I think he did (or does) give too much credit to the communist system as a means to salvation. He is not alone in this, and  I certainly have to concede that communism at least gives lip service to some worthy goals.

I will miss him, if he doesn't come back. He made a great contribution to the Diner imho, and that will be missed.

I always thought I could make friends with Palloy if I could just sit down with him in his house in the jungle and share a few beers and talk face-to face. This internet place is a shitty place to make friends, for the most part. I used to think it would bring people together, but it seems like it just lets far-flung people get together to shout at one another most of the time.

Flesh or spirit, I wish him well.
SAVE AS MANY AS YOU CAN

Online Surly1

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Re: Alas Poor Palloy, We Hardly Knew Ye
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2018, 07:28:48 AM »

Palloy, if you didn't know, was the name of a hero of the French Revolution,a guy best known for blowing up the Bastille, the infamous prison. I always thought it was an apt handle for a guy who longed to tear down the system and replace it with a workers paradise.
I did NOT know that.


I know that he very much wanted me, and anyone else he could influence, to leave BAU behind and adopt a powered-down lifestyle that would save the planet. I'm here to say that was and is a noble endeavor, even though I've not chosen to go there. I admire Palloy for walking his walk, even though I often gave him a hard time.

My issues with him had much more to do with his strident self-righteousness than it did with anything in his belief system...

I admire that he did this. Since he and AG so often wanted the same things, it was often to discern the root causes of their spittle-flecked battles with one another. Some things are inscrutable. Neither tolerated criticism worth a hoot.

We all have to play the cards we are dealt.
"It is difficult to write a paradiso when all the superficial indications are that you ought to write an apocalypse." -Ezra Pound

Offline azozeo

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Re: Alas Poor Palloy, We Hardly Knew Ye
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2018, 11:29:54 AM »

Palloy, if you didn't know, was the name of a hero of the French Revolution,a guy best known for blowing up the Bastille, the infamous prison. I always thought it was an apt handle for a guy who longed to tear down the system and replace it with a workers paradise.
I did NOT know that.


I know that he very much wanted me, and anyone else he could influence, to leave BAU behind and adopt a powered-down lifestyle that would save the planet. I'm here to say that was and is a noble endeavor, even though I've not chosen to go there. I admire Palloy for walking his walk, even though I often gave him a hard time.

My issues with him had much more to do with his strident self-righteousness than it did with anything in his belief system...

I admire that he did this. Since he and AG so often wanted the same things, it was often to discern the root causes of their spittle-flecked battles with one another. Some things are inscrutable. Neither tolerated criticism worth a hoot.

We all have to play the cards we are dealt.


You & I go toe 2 toe regularly.
Coke needs Pepsi, Hertz needs Avis.

Let him walk about & come back to his senses.
You can only pound so much sand on Gilligan's Is.
2018 appears to be the year of the personal meltdown. Thank you Jayzus. There called growing pains for a reason.
No one gets outta' this shit alive...
I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why youíre here. Youíre here because you know something. What you know you canít explain, but you feel it. Youíve felt it your entire life, that thereís something wrong with the world.
You donít know what it is but its there, like a splinter in your mind

Online Surly1

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Re: Alas Poor Palloy, We Hardly Knew Ye
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2018, 12:20:34 PM »

Palloy, if you didn't know, was the name of a hero of the French Revolution,a guy best known for blowing up the Bastille, the infamous prison. I always thought it was an apt handle for a guy who longed to tear down the system and replace it with a workers paradise.
I did NOT know that.


I know that he very much wanted me, and anyone else he could influence, to leave BAU behind and adopt a powered-down lifestyle that would save the planet. I'm here to say that was and is a noble endeavor, even though I've not chosen to go there. I admire Palloy for walking his walk, even though I often gave him a hard time.

My issues with him had much more to do with his strident self-righteousness than it did with anything in his belief system...

I admire that he did this. Since he and AG so often wanted the same things, it was often to discern the root causes of their spittle-flecked battles with one another. Some things are inscrutable. Neither tolerated criticism worth a hoot.

We all have to play the cards we are dealt.


You & I go toe 2 toe regularly.
Coke needs Pepsi, Hertz needs Avis.

Let him walk about & come back to his senses.
You can only pound so much sand on Gilligan's Is.
2018 appears to be the year of the personal meltdown. Thank you Jayzus. There called growing pains for a reason.
No one gets outta' this shit alive...

Yep. If you can't tell your friends that they are full of shit from time to time, what good are they? Or you?
You remind me of something I heard from an artist I was dating 30 years ago. It was advice someone gave her: "The competition is your best friend." I have never forgotten it.
I'm hoping PY goes walkabout and returns.
We all need some air from time to time.
"It is difficult to write a paradiso when all the superficial indications are that you ought to write an apocalypse." -Ezra Pound

Offline Palloy2

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2018, 12:29:05 AM »
My suicide failed, obviously.  How embarassing.

I had 3 grams of Prothiaden in 25 milligram capsules, and its LD50 is 1 gram so that should be ample.  Unfortunately I only managed to take 50 before I started to fall asleep, but that should be enough, shouldn't it?  Apparently not. I woke up with a serious headache, and an urgent need to go to the toilet.  But my balance was seriously impaired, and I fell heavily, head-butting the concrete wall.  My legs didn't seem to be working right, so crawling was very difficult.  I can remember trying to get onto my office chair on castors so I could scoot about, but didn't have the strength or balance to do it.  Lots of heavy falls. I think that lasted a day but a lot of time is missing. Somehow I made it back to bed and when I woke up my balance was restored. I spent a day sitting in my armchair, drinking coffee and smoking.  The Universe is still turning, and barely noticed at all.

So what next?  I don't think I can cope with the agony of watching the planet slip slowly into its death spiral while you Amerikans carry on partying and buying new cars like nothing is wrong.  I know you all don't see things my way, but there is no excuse for being so fucking Amerikan about it. 
"The State is a body of armed men."

Online RE

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2018, 02:20:09 AM »
My suicide failed, obviously.  How embarassing.

I had 3 grams of Prothiaden in 25 milligram capsules, and its LD50 is 1 gram so that should be ample.  Unfortunately I only managed to take 50 before I started to fall asleep, but that should be enough, shouldn't it?  Apparently not. I woke up with a serious headache, and an urgent need to go to the toilet.  But my balance was seriously impaired, and I fell heavily, head-butting the concrete wall.  My legs didn't seem to be working right, so crawling was very difficult.  I can remember trying to get onto my office chair on castors so I could scoot about, but didn't have the strength or balance to do it.  Lots of heavy falls. I think that lasted a day but a lot of time is missing. Somehow I made it back to bed and when I woke up my balance was restored. I spent a day sitting in my armchair, drinking coffee and smoking.  The Universe is still turning, and barely noticed at all.

So what next?  I don't think I can cope with the agony of watching the planet slip slowly into its death spiral while you Amerikans carry on partying and buying new cars like nothing is wrong.  I know you all don't see things my way, but there is no excuse for being so fucking Amerikan about it.

Glad to hear the attempted Seppuku failed. :icon_sunny:  The hangover though sounds worse than death, although granted it doesn't last as long.

My coping mechanism is not to get all bent out of shape over the planet dying.  Every living thing dies at some point in the timeline, amd there is nothing you can do about that.  Earth is like a Smoker who dies earlier than might have been expected due to Lung Cancer.  That is also making a leap of faith that the whole planet WILL die, which by no means is a certainty.  Likelihood is better that most higher organisms will die but single cell plants and animals will survive, mutate over time and otherwise evolve.  Life as a whole is tenacious, it doesnt give up its spark easily, from wherever that comes from.

Beyond that since my system of beliefs holds that the soul maintains its integrity even after the corporeal meat package fails, Seppuku doesn't save you from witnessing the death of the planet, you just view it from the other side of the 50 yard line,  Of course you don't believe this way so you probably do think it is a Final Solution to the observation problem.

Finally, as I have suggested to you many times, you simply must at least TRY to lighten up, even if it's not in your nature to do so.  In many respects, life is just a grand joke the universe plays on on the sapient creatures that inhabit it.  As with all tragedies, the other side of the coin is the comedy.  You can either laugh or you can cry.  I choose to laugh.  It gets me through the day and the pain I live with these days.

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Offline Golden Oxen

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2018, 04:36:06 AM »

 

Glad you are still here Palloy, your massive brain is a true treasure, please preserve it and try and realize what a gift it is not to be discarded.

Perhaps this site might afford you some help but not likely. Just a good long walk through that rain forest you love most likely a better idea.     :icon_sunny:                Stay safe Please!, GO

 http://www.suicidal.com/depressionlinks/index.html
« Last Edit: July 14, 2018, 07:03:52 AM by Surly1 »

Online Surly1

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2018, 07:00:57 AM »
My suicide failed, obviously.  How embarassing.

I had 3 grams of Prothiaden in 25 milligram capsules, and its LD50 is 1 gram so that should be ample.  Unfortunately I only managed to take 50 before I started to fall asleep, but that should be enough, shouldn't it?  Apparently not. I woke up with a serious headache, and an urgent need to go to the toilet.  But my balance was seriously impaired, and I fell heavily, head-butting the concrete wall.  My legs didn't seem to be working right, so crawling was very difficult.  I can remember trying to get onto my office chair on castors so I could scoot about, but didn't have the strength or balance to do it.  Lots of heavy falls. I think that lasted a day but a lot of time is missing. Somehow I made it back to bed and when I woke up my balance was restored. I spent a day sitting in my armchair, drinking coffee and smoking.  The Universe is still turning, and barely noticed at all.

So what next?  I don't think I can cope with the agony of watching the planet slip slowly into its death spiral while you Amerikans carry on partying and buying new cars like nothing is wrong.  I know you all don't see things my way, but there is no excuse for being so fucking Amerikan about it.

For my part Palloy, I too am glad that you have not yet written your final testament.

Quote
The Universe is still turning, and barely noticed at all.

I am often demoralized by how little we can do to change the trajectory upon which we are headed. We can prep up; we can change our habits. We could even sell our homes and goods and wander the earth like Cain. And The Universe will still turn, and barely notice at all. What one individual or family can do is infinitesimal on a planetary scale. What we can do is work for change. That's what I choose to do, but that is made harder by the wholesale co-optation of one of the parties in this country, and the inbred human reluctance to change anything about ourselves at any time. One of the immutable rules of human nature that is we all think we are right, all the time.

Disagree that this "planet slip(s) slowly into its death spiral." The current ecosphere is being poisoned. After Earth sloughs off the virus known as humanity, within 10,000 years or so-- the blink of Nature's eye-- the healing will have begun. The planet will be fine; it's humanity that is fucked,. And we will have done it to ourselves. If you know that, and accept it, what really is the sanest way to proceed?

For me it is to tend to my knitting, and crate some happiness and love for those closest to me, and try to leave some small piece of the world in better shape than I found it.

I agree with RE when he says,
Quote
most higher organisms will die but single cell plants and animals will survive, mutate over time and otherwise evolve.  Life as a whole is tenacious, it doesnt give up its spark easily, from wherever that comes from.

Americans are immature and impatient, and our favorite diversion conditions us to expect resolution of most conflicts and dramas in either a 22 or 48 minute story arc. Life does not, of course, cooperate.  The current ecocide is a blip on the scale of geologic time, and history of Earth is written in millennia. The planet doesn't really care what we think.

I am reminded of a Joni Mitchell lyric from "Don Juan's Reckless Daughter," long ago...

There are rivets up here in this eagle
There are box cars down there on your snake
And we are twins of spirit
No matter which route home we take
Or what we forsake
We're going to come up to the eyes of clarity
And we'll go down to the beads of guile
There is danger and education
In living out such a reckless life style
I touched you on the central plains
It was plane to train my twin
It was just plane shadow to train shadow
But to me it was skin to skin
The spirit talks in spectrums
He talks to mother earth to father sky
Self indulgence to self denial
Man to woman
Scales to feathers
You and I
Eagles in the sky
You and I
Snakes in the grass
You and I
Crawl and fly
You and I

Glad you walk among us still.
"It is difficult to write a paradiso when all the superficial indications are that you ought to write an apocalypse." -Ezra Pound

Offline Eddie

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2018, 08:59:32 AM »
I thought you sounded pretty serious. I had a feeling you might go for it. I'm sorry if my refusal to do the right things precipitated your crisis. You succeeded in making me feel bad about arguing with you.

Why don't you give yourself a while to think about why the universe decided for you to live a bit longer? If Americans piss you off to the point of not wanting to live, I suggest unplugging your computer and going local. You don't have to torture yourself ranting at strangers who won't act right. You live in a very special place. Take it one day at a time.

Thank God for coffee and cigarettes. I expect you still feel like shit. I hope you feel better soon.
What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Offline Eddie

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2018, 09:13:05 AM »
Ever read Tom Sawyer?

This thread reminds me of the part where Huck and Tom and Becky Thatcher show up for their own funeral.
What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

Offline Palloy2

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2018, 05:48:11 PM »
It does feel a bit like turning up for your own funeral, only to find that nobody has understood what you were all about.

I didn't try and terminate my life because I am in despair over the death spiral of Life on Earth - I don't think that is at all likely, in fact all lifeforms, apart from Homo  sap., will make a strong recovery.  Amongst the Homo saps, some will do OK - those fit and healthy individuals directly connected to Nature, while those that belong to the Consumerist lifestyle will die off.

I did it because the pain of living in a broken old body outweighs the joys of living, and the certainty that nobody will change their chosen lifestyle to a simpler one, so there is nothing that I can do about the problem. 

I have spent the second half of my life trying to simplify and downsize, while living off the welfare state that I have lived in (money that had been raked off MY earnings and "invested" for me).  I have been very fortunate not to be involved in war on my country, having seen the results of WW2 on the lives of my parents.  This has meant that I was sure to be frustrated at the stupidity of everyone else, and ended up with The Doomers in one tiny corner of the internet, who can't even bring themselves to discuss the looming WW3, while their interest is in buying more stuff to try and personally survive The Coming of the Four Horsemen - imagine, the sheer cheek of it.

"The State is a body of armed men."

Online RE

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Re: Final Testament
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2018, 06:37:19 PM »
This has meant that I was sure to be frustrated at the stupidity of everyone else, and ended up with The Doomers in one tiny corner of the internet, who can't even bring themselves to discuss the looming WW3, while their interest is in buying more stuff to try and personally survive The Coming of the Four Horsemen - imagine, the sheer cheek of it.

I think this is a little unfair.  We DO put up geopolitical articles all the time.  Surly'ss main focus is Politics.  Eddie's main focus is his Toothstead prject with raising the pigs.  DB like to tak about 12V and Solar solutions.  I like economics and prepping.

You are highly focused on Nuclear War, and there is nothing wrong with that, it's where your collapse interest lies.  Just not too many Diners are as focused on this topic of collapse.  It aggravates you that nobody will pick up on the threads for further discussion.

O too suffer the malady of a broken body and te pain that goes with that.  For me, just 3 short years ago I could still hike into the mountains, though not so fast as when I was younger.  Now I can't even make the hike from my office chair to the toilet.  Not the way an active person hopes to finish out his (her) life.  Unlike you, I don't have the courage to even ATTEMPT a suicide, much less attempt it and fail at it.  Perhaps there is a message there to be found.

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