With your Host, Category5.


You come here for Survival Skills. Wrong word. Skills for Adaptation. For essential Apocalyptic Adapter skill sets.

My advice and homework assignment today is …. Go dancing.

Coming out of this winter, I have been feeling like a car wreck. Winter started at least a month early and is ending at least a month late.

I’ve just finished the years firewood. Its bucked, split and stacked under cover to begin drying. Since you know when I started the C5 Gets Wood series, you’ve got a pretty good idea of how much of life this takes up… and that you will have to perform that every single year of your post apocalyptic life. Speaking of which, I better get up on the roof the next decent day and clean the creosote out of the stove pipe… again.

Going from a winter full stop, to a spring-ish, lift, carry, stack, buck more, repeat… you get the idea, pretty much I have used every muscle group. Ive got that burning sensation over my entire body. I’ll muscle up over the next few months… then lose most of it over the winter. You are never going to catch me in a gym. Creepy places for people that aren’t Adapting. If you have to cut your own wood, dig your own garden, do repairs and, goddess forbid, put in a winters worth of hay with a scythe… you get the idea. No need for lifting weights and doing squats. All this stuff called Adapting, you are going to have to do it all again next year and the year after that.

Enough intro. Go dancing. Its fun. It makes your body feel good. People have been doing it for ever. It’s part of being human. In many traditions, it is worship. It’s a group unifier.

Theology joke coming right up. Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up? Because it might lead to dancing. Budupt dup.

I’m going heavy on the DJ-C5 this round. Lets go back into the past for the majic age of dancing through the apocalypse. I mean the 80s. Stick with me here. I’m going some place.

Before everyone became addicted to the internet, they needed something to do with their evenings. Long before our parents became addicted to TV, deep into our past, people would come together to stare into the fire for warmth. There they would share news, connect with the tribe as to what had happened that day, retell the ancient epic stories. They would sing the shared songs… and dance.

I hear millennials staring at their smartphones cant even be bothered to Fuck anymore. And everyone is facing profound loneliness and disconnection.

Todays Bonus Reads come from Chris Martenson.  Your electronics were designed to get you addicted-


Double Tap

For all you Bitch Boomers complaining about Millennials, kids nowadays, this sums up their demotivated lives. This part two is behind a paywall… but reading the free intro is really all you need to sum it up-


As a Gen-Xer, heavy on the X, we were just a bit ahead of the curve. From Johnny Rotten singing, “No Future! No Future Now!” to The Ramones singing, “I wanna be sedated”.

The “alternative music scene” was a dark reaction against fluff music being pushed by corporate sponsors. It encouraged you to dance… and you didn’t even need a partner. It was a good workout. And it was cathartic. You could be angry, depressed and dance at the same time. The endorphins would keep you going for a few days, facing shit jobs and poverty and no future.

Funny how it is classic rock now, for people that weren’t even there. Why do people even know who Trent Reznor is?

My health hasn’t been good this winter. There. It’s said. Oldish age has hit hard as well as the consequences of past trauma and addictions. My lungs are pretty fucked at this point.

MrsC5 has been feeling the same but for different reasons.

I’m getting to the Adaptive Survival advice. Be patient whipper snappers.

There are two things I miss from city life. Good ethnic food… and dance clubs. Sure, bush folk do have a tradition of dancing to stay connected, healthy and happy. And sure, there is the whole hippy ecstatic dancing thing and the much more traditional to this region, celtic, ceilidh, Kitchen party. Heavy on the fiddles.

Personally, I’ld rather jam chopsticks into my ears than dance to any of that stuff. Either way, I have realized, that to stay here… and not die, I need to dance again. Beyond the cardiovascular. To stretch out the muscles that atrophy over the winter, especially crouched over a computer. For those, head bowed to the smartphone with couched shoulders… posture leads depression. Stand tall, throw your shoulders back, lift your chin and look around. Your mental and physical state will return, with the bonus of that this posture of confidence is subconsciously attractive to the opposite sex. If you have to, fake it till you make it. It will eventually become a habit.

Some of you will remember my very non prepper traditional statement… to confound,  amuse, and enrage the dimwitted survivalists-

C5 Rule of Survival- The single greatest survival skillset is… envelope please… the Dinner party.

That has been paying off well. I have a group of friends… that I like to party with. Bonds have been made. Now it’s time to go to the next step of Adaption. Luckily friends were coming to the same conclusion. A friend said they want to clean out the garage and start regular dance parties. This has my C5, Adapters seal of approval. We may be getting old… but it seems to me that the best way to face the apocalypse is on out feet. Together. Reinforcing trust and social bonds. You can be mourning for the state of the world or you can be dancing. Your choice. Which do you think will make you better psychologically prepared to live in it. Bring on The post apocalyptic dance parties.

Do you know why I started this post with that video at the top of the page. Sure, it’s got the creepy but cool factor. And sure, I have been feeling like a car wreck…. but if you full body dance like that, its going to stretch out any tense muscles restricting blood flow and oxygen.  Fuck yoga or martial arts stretching or massages. Dancing will get you limber wile having fun. And it will keep you from being a crazy, antisocial survivalist. BING.

So, How did I get to this post. In the previous post, I ended it with the song  UMAI by Shireen. Someone new to me. I found myself listening to it several times to catch the words of this post apocalyptic song. The words that caught my attention were , “And you will pray… Instead I will give you my storm. I will give you hell. I will tear out your trees, Sweep up the seas and destroy your fields…”. Well that sums up what this blog is about… and the hugely damaging winds happening at the time reinforced it. Plus I had been thinking we need to translate some of the old industrial goth metal to be able to be played acoustic around a fire, for collective post apocalyptic singing and dancing, to get through the collapse of the industrial age…

Then this showed up in my music feed. I gave it a listen, mostly for the goth apocalypse garb… and was shocked. How did I miss this? Gary Newman? Not cool. But the old geezer hooked up with TRENT FUCKING REZNOR from Nine Inch Nails and totally recreated himself. This had been going on for a while. That’s what I get for leaving society. If this old guy kicked back from the retirement home… I guess there is still hope for me… if I get my sorry ass out of this seat and dance out my rage.

Well he won’t be the first. Bowie also hooked up with Trent Reznor before he died for this very apropos, prophetic song.

I was sold on Nine Inch Nail from the unbowed rage, on first hearing Head Like A Hole. It was dance and worship music for me. Prayers of confrontation against the ancient god Mammon, that controls industrial capitalism. “I’d rather die than give you control”. I’ts the song I would crank up each time I quit a pathetic slave job and drove off in search of an apocalypse survivable location.

So, GET UP! GET ON YOUR FEET! You can stay crouched over if you want to. You can stay bowed… or you can move.

And in the fashion of this blog, my thoughts, telling the Survivalist Prepper movements to repent and get their shit together because it has been stolen by Moloch and Mammon worshipers and made useless to Actual Survival.

Get up on your feet and lets pray together.

Hallelujah!, brothers and sisters of the apocalypse. Shout out that old devil.

And if my music tastes aren’t your cup of tea, or herbal modifier, find what you love and dance to that.

Lets sum up. Cut fire wood. Dig gardens. Repair and build against storms. Dance when you can. Find others to dance through the apocalypse with.


This is C5, transmitting on the Dark Green Mountain. Still un-bought. Still un-bowed.

If you are receiving this broadcast, YOU are The Rebel Alliance.