Hi Nobody,
Here are a couple of thoughts right off the top of my head.
Ok, so the first idea to avoid detection is to hide in plain sight, right wherever you are. You can harden your home through various techniques - board-up or place security bars over low windows, strengthen your door jamb (
http://www.doordevil.com/ ). Add a dog and keep your garden / preps out of sight. Don't cut the grass, keep the place looking unlived in. Plant a few nasty prickly bushes under windows, build a privacy fence. Run the woodstove only at night, keep curtains drawn and cover with black plastic bags, keep the lights off. Stay out of sight as much as possible during the day. Never go out alone. Work with neighbors to create a neighborhood watch or move in together for added security; buy yourselves a set of short wave radios. Pray the cops will come if you dial 911. In fact, pray that the phone lines are still functioning so you can call the cops.
If you really feel the need to bug out, think about staying mobile to avoid the urban violence. If you have a vehicle that can pull a trailer or a camper, find a safe place to park it. It could be an acre of land you buy, a rural campground, relatives property, etc. Have the necessary equipment to set up camp wherever you go: water filters, bucket, fire starters, sleeping bags, a good tent, couple of tarps, rope, cooking stove, flashlights and a small photovoltaic for recharging, axe, bow saw, etc. This is especially great if you can pre-position a few things like buried food, a fire pit, a well with a hand pump, a cord of seasoned firewood, etc. Maybe you can get a few other families interested in this idea. Security in numbers. Go into town in small groups to get what you need.
If you want a longer term, physical bug out structure, you could buy an existing house but it's best if it can't be seen from the road. An old barn might be better. You can use tarps, stacks of wood, a wall of old tires, embankment of earth, anything laying around to disguise the structure. You can plant Leland cypress or something else that grows fast to help screen it. If you have a long drive way, drop a couple of trees across it, dig a deep ditch, or park an abandoned car in the way. Just try to discourage the curious and slow them down. Use farm fencing to your advantage. There's a guy on YouTube called SouthernPrepper1 who is x-military and he covers all this in great detail. If you are out in the country, you'll need a gun, or two...
For a completely non-violent approach, your best bet might be to buy raw land and hide out. Don't put in a 'driveway', find a secluded spot or on a high point where you can keep an eye on things. Think about a minimal structure buried into the hillside, low profile. I've seen videos on YouTube of folks who have buried metal shipping containers. Rent the movie 'Take Shelter.' Ride out the storm in your shelter and hopefully things will settle down before you run out of supplies.
Jb