AuthorTopic: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles  (Read 34925 times)

Offline Surly1

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #15 on: August 20, 2012, 12:06:48 PM »
Dirdy Birdy,
Relax. Nobody here sweats the small stuff.  :icon_mrgreen: Pedantic stuff like grammar police and nit picking is generally not present at this site. Most of us look at the value of the content. You are obviously a deep thinker so keep putting your thoughts out there. Many may benefit from them.  :icon_sunny:

DB,
For what it's worth, am very much with AG on this one. Keep pitching your stuff. I may have to take a vacation to read this stuff-- a lot of it.

NEVER sweat the small stuff.
“The old world is dying, and the New World struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters.”

Offline Dirdy Birdy

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2012, 02:28:58 AM »
I am a perfectionist; so regardless of whether or not YOU care about my mistakes...they STILL annoy ME :P
Thanks agelbert and Surly; RE your comments including "Don't sweat the small stuff" Including RE and you two; I have THREE people who LIKE my writing...coolness  :D
Something interesting to ME; only THREE people downloaded my original attachment...ME, RE, and agelbert. I KNOW this from MY actions + what RE and agelbert SAID to me + that it SAYS right in the POST how many times the attachment has been downloaded. So...either NOONE except for RE and agelbert was INTERESTED in reading the other 4 parts of FUBAR! that RE did not post, OR people are so damn lazy its FUNNY! Because there is a BIG difference between 116 times this thread has BEEN veiwed as of today VS. three downloads in TOTAL of FUBAR!
RE...I have never USED the "Insert Quote" button; I just noticed it TODAY! But if it is as EASY as the "attachment and other options" button...I will USE it on Wednseday and SAVE you a minor chore 8)

I am going to backtrack a bit to a comment by agelbert.
Presumably you are the same person that wrote the recent NEAT post with the title starting with "Sexual Dimorphism" and also your comments on patent law and advice to me were COOL.
But your comment about my writing in FUBAR! bugs me...

First; your link was to a boring conversation that taught me ZIP, NADDA, SQUAT about Muslims, and the Middle East, and WHY they are PISSED at the USA in general.
Second; your post in a vague way implied that you thought I was IGNORANT about the reasons Muslims have to be Pissed at the USA and European countries...the "Illogical" in context was a hint.
Both ot these two items annoyed me; so I will post part of HOW I think...and WHY its relivant to your post and my FUBAR! writing.

Eventually...in posts 11 and 18 of Dirdy Birdy Proof excerpts according to my list and sequence I have written down; I will include My Mysterious Mind.
This is something that would FIT in My Mysterious Mind; disclaimer...is that I was Manic when I wrote it so I was overestimating myself and my intillect.

So regarding my section of FUBAR! where I was HIGHLY critical of Muslims and Terrorists; I DO understand why they are angry at the US Military and the US and European governments in general.
Item 1: the US and European government arbitrarilly DIVIDED the Middle East into countries that were for their OWN convenience...and that IGNORED existing cultures and tribes concerns.
Item 2: it is obvious to anyone that THINKS that the US would ignore much of the Middle East if there were NO OIL there...and in a related logical deduction that the US Military Policy in the Middle East has a large component devoted to controlling through force...the Oil Market to a degree at least.
Item 3: The US Military DOES try to be diplomatic and respectful of Muslims for at a minimum PR purposes, but I do believe there are MORE moral reasons for that also. However there are ALSO people in the US that DESPICE Muslims; prejudice and small minded thinking is simply an unavoidable FACT of human nature...and so US citizens and also Soldiers in the Middle East deliberately (and at times also unintentionally) are VERY insulting to Muslims.
Item 4+ other people have written ESSAYS on this subject; NOT gonna DO that myself ;)

So when I wrote the criticism of Muslims in FUBAR! I was on a ROLL! I did not write any counterarguements to my OWN writing even though I DID think of them; because that would RUIN my Points being so awsome (to me at least) and instead make them more ordinary.
BUT...I am a person that CANNOT see things with ONE perspective; I ALLWAYS see arguements in terms of dualitities that I choose sides on OR for some arguements I say in effect (to myself only); "This arguement SUCKS! BOTH sides of this arguement are WRONG; and here is MY better answer to what they are arguing about"

Seeing things in terms of dualities has a benefit; I am good at empathizing with other veiws and people's ideas and personalities.
BUT seeing things in dualistic terms ALSO is bad for me; it causes me to DELAY for years making important desicions in my OWN life because I obsessively consider thier pros and cons. This is BAD in that sometimes the wisest course is to just DO something and live with the consequences even if it is not your BEST possible choice; sometimes delaying is itself WORSE than making a bad choice quickly.

Offline RE

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #17 on: August 21, 2012, 02:49:30 AM »
I am a perfectionist; so regardless of whether or not YOU care about my mistakes...they STILL annoy ME :P
Thanks agelbert and Surly; RE your comments including "Don't sweat the small stuff" Including RE and you two; I have THREE people who LIKE my writing...coolness  :D
Something interesting to ME; only THREE people downloaded my original attachment...ME, RE, and agelbert. I KNOW this from MY actions + what RE and agelbert SAID to me + that it SAYS right in the POST how many times the attachment has been downloaded. So...either NOONE except for RE and agelbert was INTERESTED in reading the other 4 parts of FUBAR! that RE did not post, OR people are so damn lazy its FUNNY! Because there is a BIG difference between 116 times this thread has BEEN veiwed as of today VS. three downloads in TOTAL of FUBAR!

Actually, it was Surly who wrote, "Don's Sweat the Small Stuff", but I agree with the sentiment.

Far as people downloading File attachments, you are correct on both counts.  Many are not interested, and many are lazy also.  Also there are some who are afraid of D/L File attachments since sometimes they carry malware or viruses with them.

Then you have the issue that Stream of Consciousness writing (that is what your DB Chronicles represent) can be difficult for people who are NOT inside YOUR head to grasp onto. Its not expository writing and does not take into account how the Reader perceives the reality, it is YOUR reality.  I am OK with this, Surly and AB are also apparently, but most people are not.  When I read your DB Chronicles, I just try to be Dirdy Birdy while I read it.  So I get some Window into DB thinking that way.  Most people will not do that though DB, so you gotta live with the fact Popularity for the stuff may not take off here. LOL.

I certainly will appreciate it if you figure out the various Copy/Paste and Quoting functions so I don't need to edit up your stuff and provide the Excerpts.  I got too much on my Plate already these days.  My Mod Squad is busy Assassinating me in the Back Room and besides that I lost the Keys to one of my Bugout Machines.  Life can be difficult sometimes. LOL.

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Offline Surly1

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #18 on: August 21, 2012, 03:11:21 AM »
DB, for what it's worth, I downloaded it as well, hence my comment. I looked at the first several pages and realized that it would require more attention than I had to give.

So if the software didn't record that download it may not have counted others as well.

Keep the faith.
“The old world is dying, and the New World struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters.”

Offline Dirdy Birdy

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #19 on: August 21, 2012, 09:21:36 PM »
Surly...gotcha!
Note: I handwrote about 150 to 200 pages + typed the 264 page Dirdy Birdy Proof in ONLY one month of last year :o
Also just THIS month I handwrote OVER five hundred pages of stuff that I will NOT post here... :P
But I am not like RE in being a writer ALL the time; instead I go in spurts of creative writing...then months or even YEARS without more writing.

RE...your explanation of WHY people get overwhelmed by my writing makes sense; I had not thought of it in that way before.
THANKS again; sometimes you think people dislike you...you even called yourself an ASSHOLE! I personally think you are a great person ;D
Now it is time to SEE if I can copy and paste; note that it USED to be much EASIER to do that with Microsoft Word...they ELIMINATED part of the PROCESS as an option :icon_scratch:
Attachment below for people who are not LAZY or FRAIDYCATS about attachments :laugh:

2011 Writing: Section One...contents
Conservative and Liberal Roots at a Bar!
Immortality
Aphrodesiacs
Discussion Board
Fascism in America

RE; sorry I am simply cluless :( I opened up my Word Document titled "2011 Section One" and selected an excerpt, then I clicked on "Copy", then I clicked on "Paste" I KNOW how to copy INSIDE a Word Document...but I am cluless about how to get ANYTHING out of the document and INTO my post :exp-huh:

*Excerpt from the attachment below provided by RE. This one actually is pretty hilarious.  ;D I gotta reread it but I may make it into a Blog Article.  :icon_mrgreen:
Quote from: Dirdy Birdy

Jeff gave this to me; he is totally Conservative.

Also neither of us knows who wrote this…

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2012, 11:59:54 PM by RE »

Offline RE

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #20 on: August 21, 2012, 11:43:27 PM »

THANKS again; sometimes you think people dislike you...you even called yourself an ASSHOLE! I personally think you are a great person ;D

Another TESTIMONIAL to add to the Diner Memorable Quotes! LOL.  I am basically a you Love Him or Hate Him type of guy.  I don't get too many neutral reactions.  :icon_mrgreen:

I'll paste in an excerpt.  Try again next time.  After you COPY, it is in the cache of the copy memory.  Then go to the Diner Upload box you want to paste into, and after putting your cursor where you want it in the poste, paste by hitting Ctrl/V keys at the same time.

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Offline Dirdy Birdy

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2012, 06:48:12 AM »
I will try to post Aphrodesia right now :)

Aphrodisiacs…9-2-11
I might have an average desire for good sex.
Alternately I might be like a celibate monk that is a horny bastard at heart; I have BEEN mostly celibate because MY few sexual experiences have been upsetting and dissatisfying. I believe that I have a below average degree of sexual responsiveness; this means that I consider any conventional EFFORT to ENJOY sex to BE futile

My BEST orgasm has disappointed me

Even though I have been Celibate I still WANTED good sex…so over the years I have come up with concepts of Aphrodisiacs that are MY ideas
Aphrodisiac List…and I am proud of my list
1.   Boner: 15 minute erection with pleasure for both partners.
2.   Hardon: 5 minute erection with pleasure for the guy ONLY; this would BE so that an experience is more satisfying psychologically because the guy would KNOW that he is the FOCUS and getting MOST of the pleasure…the woman would still respond normally physically and emotionally.
3.   MellonJolly: Nipple and breast sensitivity, would work on guys. I have heard of some rare women that have BETTER orgasms from manipulation of the nipples than from intercourse = more nerves than average in the nipples.
4.   Aqua: skin contact water flow causes arousal and pleasure.
5.   Heat: arousal and pleasure with sweating and warmth.
6.   ShiverTingle: Pleasurable tingling, shivering, and goose-bumps…this would BE a turn on FOR the partner ALSO because of seeing the goose-bumps.
7.   Anal Delight: I have NOT come up with ideas for this…I just have a name, so IF and after I develop the others I would ask others for ideas on this one.
8.   I came up with one that would BE popular, but I will not describe it because it would cause a HARMFULL addiction. Also I would NOT invent this one.
9.   I came up with one that is a secret…only FOR me
10.   Supertickle: not an aphrodisiac BUT being tickled is fun and stress relieving= relaxes you FOR easier sexual arousal.
11.   Empathy: not an aphrodisiac BUT used by both partners during sex would LEAD to a state of Reciprocal Empathy that would SYNERGESTICALLY increase the arousal of both partners. Used by one partner it would still be cool. Obviously this would BE useful to politicians, police interrogating suspects, psychologists, any actor in plays that are CLOSE to a live audience, and general socializing not already specified.
12.   I came up with 11 ideas BUT if I could invent aphrodisiacs I would want input from others; Humanity is fascinated by sex + there are 7 billion people that all could potentially give me MORE ideas = how many MORE ideas are there?

My aphrodisiacs would collectively BE called Affrodesia.
Vials would have a nice picture of a 70s Black Pimp with a large Affro.
Combine the name and the image; Affro/desia + a horny Black Guy with an Affro= amusing
I would like to someday try a comprehensive selection of conventional Aphrodisiacs; for example if I had an erection that lasted for an hour instead of 15 minutes it would BE cool psychologically EVEN if it did NOT increase my physical pleasure. Also I am curious
Each dose would BE one drop of a spell activated water droplet. Dilution would work, but my employees would NOT dilute my affrodesia products; not for me to risk having the spell fail due to dilution. I would LEARN to cast the spells on 5 Gallon containers; imagine how MANY drops of water would BE in 5 gallons! I would have employees dilute the products until failure for my curiosity. Another experiment would BE to test the duration of the spell with full strength and various dilutions. Employees would BE very amused by my ORDER that they have experimental SEX regularly with Aphrodisiacs that WORK! Imagine THAT as your job?
Vials would be Bach Flower eyedropper bottles = at least 100 doses I’d say.
Zixen Inc. would sell 12 vials for $100 in a plastic box. Alternately customers could spend an extra $50 dollars per 12 vials to have a NICE Wood Box. I did a calculation of materials and labor and figured that these boxes could BE sold at cost AND made within the US instead of going with cheap labor in another Country. Since they would only be about 9 inches square a sheet of plywood would make ? boxes and be effectively under $5 per box for materials; the hinges would be the most expensive part of that $5 so that leaves $45 per box for labor Shipping and handling per box would be trivial since I would order them in the thousands.

WELL! THAT was ridiculously EASY :exp-grin: :D :o

Offline agelbert

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2012, 04:26:16 PM »
Dirdy Birdy wrote to agelbert:
Quote
Seeing things in terms of dualities has a benefit; I am good at empathizing with other views and people's ideas and personalities.
BUT seeing things in dualistic terms ALSO is bad for me; it causes me to DELAY for years making important decisions in my OWN life because I obsessively consider their pros and cons. This is BAD in that sometimes the wisest course is to just DO something and live with the consequences even if it is not your BEST possible choice; sometimes delaying is itself WORSE than making a bad choice quickly.

Before I get to the above, I just wanted to confirm that all the articles here written by A. G. Gelbert are written be me.

Now, I'm sorry you were bored and learned nothing from the link I gave you on Muslims. My intention was to inform you of matters I was ignorant of most of my life. I don't consider ignorance a negative aspect of a human. Why do you? If you consider the limited time we have to spend on Earth during our three score and ten, becoming knowledgeable on almost any subject necessarily leaves us ignorant in many others. That's life.

I  agree that seeing things in dualities is great. Putting yourself in both sides of two adversary's shoes is essential in understanding their behavior. But in order to do that free of endowment bias (a skewed view of history planted in our brains by propaganda since childhood that we don't wish to refute because we have invested a lot of intellectual energy in accepting the "truth" of our history books) you  must know the REAL history. Dualism is one thing but regardless of the tendency we all have to procrastinate about WHO IS RIGHT AND WHO IS WRONG, if we are to be true to our own values we have an obligation to dispense with relativism inherent in dualism when weighing the morality of behavior in a war.  When a person's tendency to procrastinate is equal to their level of decisiveness (50-50), their life is less stressful and more balanced because they have set up values oriented priorities for decision making or procrastination. When they are overly decisive they make a lot of mistakes and do a lot of harm (e.g. corporate psychopath CEOs) so I celebrate that you are not overly decisive. However, when procrastination rules the day 8 times out of ten or so, endowment bias that has been planted there by the propaganda outlets of the country you were raised in (in this case OUR country) will surreptitiously convince you that BOTH SIDES are equally in the right and equally at fault. You will be lulled into thinking you are being open minded and objective. This is real convenient but negates reality.Endowment bias is placed in our minds to reinforce procrastination. It's part and parcel of cognitive dissonance back door programing to keep the populace, not just ignorant of reality, but wrongly believing their side is, when all is said and done, just doing what any human would do. This is the type of thinking that says no matter what we do, the other guy's shit stinks just as much as ours. Sure, it's a fine escape mechanism to avoid hard decisions that could get you in hot water but any claim that this thought process is objective is simply false.

I will give you an example of what I mean. If you have the time, please watch the following two videos. The first one is very short and deals with the photon interference demonstration in physics. The second one is long and tells the REAL history of the Viet Nam war that NEVER made the papers, the nightly news or the historical narrative except for a few books by authors like those in the interview here. The two videos have a common thread. What do you think it is?

Dr Quantum - Double Slit Experiment

The Vietnam War: Reasons for Failure - Why the U.S. Lost
« Last Edit: August 22, 2012, 04:47:29 PM by agelbert »
Leges         Sine    Moribus      Vanae   
Faith,
if it has not works, is dead, being alone.

Offline agelbert

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #23 on: August 22, 2012, 05:18:25 PM »
Quote
Anal Delight: I have NOT come up with ideas for this…I just have a name, so IF and after I develop the others I would ask others for ideas on this one.

Now THAT was funnier than anything you wrote in "Fubar"!  :emthup: Thank you for a great laugh. :icon_mrgreen:

From Portnoy's complaint to "Bruce's no-complaint". :icon_mrgreen:
Also: Rotor Rooter is not just about plumbing! Is your columnar epithelium making you sad? Dirdy Birdy has just the thing to perk you up!
Leges         Sine    Moribus      Vanae   
Faith,
if it has not works, is dead, being alone.

Offline Dirdy Birdy

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #24 on: August 22, 2012, 05:37:39 PM »
Your intent with your original link was to inform ME on matters that YOU were ignorant of RE Muslims for most of YOUR life...
You don't consider ignorance a negative aspect of a human...and ask me "Why do you?"
I am NOT ashamed when I am ignorant; and even when I have MUCH knowledge on any particular subject (science in general is one of my best subjects); I STILL want to LEARN MORE continually 8) I do not consider my own ignorance or anyone elses to be in itself NEGATIVE; what I do not respect is anyone who unlike me REJECTS new knowledge because they feel they KNOW IT ALL on some particular subject...not refering to you, just a general statement.

I did not LEARN anything new to ME from your earlier LINK; maybe I will go back and LOOK at EVERYTHING in that link again if you THINK I will learn from it.
Perhaps you were missing my point; I stated that when I wrote my critisizm of Muslims in FUBAR! that I was on a roll of BEING critical...but that even though I did not STATE alternative veiws in FUBAR! that I WAS aware of them RE how Muslims and Middle Easterners would veiw the subjects I mentioned in that particular section of FUBAR!
 I am INTERESTED in learning about EVERY subject that there is to ponder, however I am limited and my memory is flawed...so I must prioritize my own education which is primarilly autodidactism for ME;D

Thank you for your insight regarding descision pros & cons RE making fast or lengthy desicions; some new stuff in there for me :)
I will call you...Sensei just once; not being sarcastic...just pointing out that I feel I could learn new wisdom from you. Also I will make a special effort to read other stuff you have written 8)

Okay...I have read about the double slit experiment probably at least sixteen times; that is the first video that I have seen...coolness, I like the video.
I am at 22 minutes into the "Vietnam: why the US lost" (Paraphrased title) link; I will keep watching it, but only at most 20 minutes at a time.
When the current IRAQ and Affganistan situations with the US started I read over and over maybe 8 to 12 times since then...comparisons of WHY the US would LOSE eventually in the Middle East and specifically why the Middle East is SIMILAR in multiple to the FIASCO of the Vietnam War the US engaged in.
So far; Bill Gibson is a cool guy I would love to meet if he were alive still (I have no idea if he is alive or not). Something NEW to me about Vietnam is the MANY centuries that China conquoured them; then Vietnam FOUGHT for freedom and DEFEATED China...OVER AND OVER for centuries. So that is similar to Affganistan's history of being conquored and fighting and DEFEATING "Superior" military forces using asimetric insurgency type of battles of attrition MANY times over the centuries not just last century or THIS century with the US Occupying Force.

I am drawing a complete blank RE the connection between those two videos; but I enjoyed both on their own merits anyway ;)

Glad I made you laugh with the Aphrodesiac "Anal Delight" comment :laugh:
Your commment was amusing for me; shared amusement is much better than when alone being amused. BTW my other Dirdy Birdy writing is not humorous as a FOCUS, but it does mention things in my life that have amused me:)
Please explain the term "Columnar Ephithelium" I am just not getting WHAT that REALLY means, but from context I'd guess its about rectums...

Offline RE

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Dirdy Birdy Chronicles: V7
« Reply #25 on: August 23, 2012, 01:03:37 PM »
Dirdy Birdy Chronicles: V7 now UP on the Diner Blog!

Kudos DB, you made the Big Time on the Diner.  :emthup: :icon_mrgreen:

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Offline Dirdy Birdy

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #26 on: August 23, 2012, 08:00:05 PM »
I made the front page of Doomstead Diner; I am modestly famous :D (to maybe 200 people :P)

Todays post is: The Kings Road
This describes my life from the end of 2001 to the first third of 2003.
I will only post descriptions of PEOPLE that amused me during this time of my life; read the attachment below if you want MORE information on that time of my life.

Kings Road Characters
Now I’ll backtrack to the day I arrived on Maui so I can describe people in our life for the year Mom & I lived together on The Kings Road. Note: I will only describe the people that amused me…I am easily amused by Human Nature
1.   Mr. Vanity: Moms’ roommate when I arrived. She evicted him days after my arrival because he had not paid rent in months. He has only ONE priority in life; going to the beach to work on his tan…and keeping his physique in top body builder condition…LOL He is a wimp, and lazy…he works the bare minimum he can manage.
2.   Jerry: He is an electrical engineer that got canned due to severe alcoholism disrupting his work quality. He came to Maui with about $400 thousand from selling his home plus savings. His sons’ first driving experience at 14 was to drive a $70,000 Rental Corvette around town…and later a drunk friend of Jerry’s crashed that Corvette into a transformer and took out power for 1/3 of Maui LOL Mom met Jerry at the coffee stand near Dennys. Jerry & Dean were reminiscing about a night they got stinkin drunk , then blasted the stereo while driving his 300Z to Lahaina from Kehie as fast as he could drive that curvy road…They were planning WHEN they would do that again…so Mom seized Jerry’s keys and told him that he was forbidden from doing that! They started dating that day Jerry has an astonishing ability to tolerate alcohol; he was still amazingly rational & able to walk with only a minor wobble AFTER drinking eighteen beers in the previous four hours! WOW! I have arbitrarily set myself a limit of two drinks OR four drinks if they are spread out AND I eat something…and in an average year I’ll have LESS beer than Jerry can drink in a day! Jerry had a seizure while I was driving because he was ONLY drinking 4 beers per day. Jerry let me use his 300Z which was my first experience of a sporty car He calls Beer and Cigarettes…vitamins. LOL Mom got PISSED at Jerry so she wrote “Slow Bitch!” and other phrases covering the front & rear windows of the 300Z. Jerry was NOT even annoyed; his ex-girlfriends have included some REAL bitches vs. Mom is a pacifist. Jerry told me to get him some “vitamins” so I drove the 300Z covered with insults to the liquor store! Jerry is totally hetero…but when he is drunk he likes to flirt with obviously hetero & macho guys to amuse himself AND to piss them off! I witnessed this and the resulting bar “fight” between Jerry and Dean vs. two pissed off muscular cement workers. The “fight lasted at most 5 seconds because Jerry and Dean are both EXPERT martial artists. On the drive home they were pumped with adrenaline and bragging to each other for 15 minutes  Jerry is an average genius. After Jerry & Mom broke up the three of us remained friends because the breakup was amicable. Jerry spent at least a week obsessing about Surfer Girrrl after she casually mentioned that she gave her ex-boyfriend a blow job lasting four hour=wow! Surfer Girrl turned down advances from Jerry because she was still recovering from an upsetting breakup with her ex. Jerry had MANY stories of getting permanently banned from HALF of the bars in San Fransisco (an impressive achievement since it’s a big city) + his many dysfunctional ex-girlfriends. Jerry spent an entire week re-watching a home video he’d made of a woman cleaning his stove…over and over he said “Look AT her Butt! It’s PERFECT!” He has ADD so he is easily distracted BUT he can ALSO maintain LAZER focus if something interests him…Jerry had a habit of CHUCKING his cellphone at walls, or in swimming pools when he was annoyed For Halloween Mom made me a nice but conventional costume; Jerry decided to buy expensive fake breasts & dress as a drag queen = almost as funny as when Mom convinced Muhammad to wear a dress because Jerry is macho in the intellectual way that a Brain Surgeon or Scientist can be Lahaina where we went for Halloween has a miniature Mardi Gras! Someday I’d like to experience the BIG one in Louisiana Jerry’s son Tyler decided to buy a LARGE fake black butt & since he is white his costume had an amusing contrast because it was a black pimp & a funny shirt that I have forgotten why it was funny. I told Tyler that he reminded me of the cartoon called “Ambiguously Gay Superheroes” He thought my comparison was hilarious…and was NOT insulted He introduced me to newgrounds.com which I like a lot but for whatever reason I rarely visit. He has a cynical and dry sense of humor that is sometimes hard to notice…He was being instructed by Dean in how to play an electric guitar AND electric base-guitar…and practiced for HOURS/day. Dean was so impressed that he gave Tyler his $2000 electric guitar to get Tyler started with the BEST With a straight face he told me he wanted to marry me…with his dry sense of humor I could NOT be sure if he was joking OR serious.
3.   Animal Lover: because I was incapable of working Mom looked for PAYING roommates while I stayed in the living room. Mom met Animal Lover somewhere and they agreed to share in the rent. She was annoyed because the week she moved in our electricity was turned off because Mom was VERY past due…She mostly wanted the electricity so she could take hot showers; she was busy enough that she was rarely there when she was not sleeping. She volunteered for a whale watching service, hung out with friends, did touristy exploration of Maui…She had her car shipped from the mainland to Maui even though she was only there for summer vacation from college…then sold it for school expenses. The car thing seemed like it would have been a money loser/not profitable since she did not have TIME to wait for a good sale price on the car I estimated was worth $8,000 Although I did not ask specifically she seemed to be the type of person that would be an environmentalist, animal activist, social worker…etc. She claimed to have been in school with Sarah Michelle Gellar…however they never even said hello to each-other because they had different circles of friends. She is NOT at all a fan of Sarah…This two degree separation between me and Sarah reminded me of the game 7 Steps to Kevin Bacon (I am not sure I’m recalling that correctly but most people in the US would get what I mean) Sometimes the world is VAST…but sometimes connections like that make it seem much smaller
4.   Detroit: I never learned his legal name because he stopped using it when he moved to Maui…instead naming himself after the city he grew up in. In the city of Detroit he was a drug dealer making over $6000/month. Then a rival drug dealer TRIED to kill him but instead killed his pregnant wife; Detroit LOST all care for money when he realized how much more important his wife was to him…but it was a realization made too late. His friend OWNS a busy Cement Contracting job and has tried for years to get Detroit to work full time for him…Detroit ONLY works long enough to have spending money for his rather cheap lifestyle of camping, sleeping at friends, and hitching around Maui WITHOUT responsibilities. Detroit had a COOL dog that could pull him around even though he was big and the stockiest guy I’ve seen except for Angry Mexican. To slow down his dog he has a 15’ logging chain attached to it! That dog would not set records for SIZE but it was VERY muscular…Detroit left the dog with me for a day; it was FUN being pulled along by the dog Detroit stayed in our living room rent free for maybe two weeks…but moved on because he did not want to settle down. Detroit is a cool guy…hopefully he has gotten over his heartbreak in the 8 years since I saw him last.
5.   Dean: only Martin has as much evidence of an over production of testosterone as Dean exhibits…all other guys I’ve encountered would be at most HALF of Dean & Martin in this respect. Dean claimed to have an IQ of 165…but this might be a minor exaggeration because he lies a LOT! Charismatic in a way that was obvious to me –but perhaps not obvious to others-…calculated. Very funny, awesome musician, very hard worker, cement contractor/stonemason that could no longer work because of a bad back injury from working TOO hard when lifting something, former dirt bike rider that placed well in competition. He amused me by refusing to work for less than $20/hour even while he was living in his cheap pickup. Mom & Dean hooked up after she broke up with Jerry. Dean pissed off Mom because he spent most of his income on Cocaine…then charmed her back; over and over they repeated this. Mom once called the Police on Dean; that was when she found out that she had an arrest warrant FOR her from an OLD mistake she thought had been fully addressed. With a Smirk Dean waved at Mom and politely said hello to the police…while I watched unable to help Mom with her dilemma.
6.   Q-Tip: He had a midlife crisis…lost sixty pounds of muscle, dyed his hair blond, cashed out his retirement account & frittered away his money on USELESS purchases. Q-Tip against his will & despite NOT wanting to…developed a strong sexual desire for his 14 year old daughter. Q-Tip felt guilty about his desire & wanted to avoid ANY chance he would make advances on his daughter; he chose Dean as the first RANDOM person he encountered…and told Dean “You are taking care of my daughter”, then walked away. Q-Tip rented an $800/month apartment, but he ONLY had beer, a towel, a $3000 drum set + another $3000 spent on an electric guitar & base-guitar. He was CLUELESS on how to use his musical instruments even WITH instruction from Dean at a later time…but he had decided to become a musician anyway. The reason he lost 60 pounds is he stopped eating & ONLY drank beer…LOTS of beer! The reason he was nicknamed Q-Tip is he had gotten beyond skinny into scrawny territory + had bleached his hair + he was about 6’6” so the name fit him as far as I and others were concerned. He got an awful tattoo that he was proud of…but it was considered to be a mistake by everyone else. He used the toilet and wiped his butt with his towel because he had $6000 in musical instruments but NO toilet paper…LOL! He spent $800 on a limousine ride from his apartment in Kehie to a Dennys in Lahaina when he lived only 100 feet from the 24 hour Dennys=insane! Q-Tips daughter was already a model at 14; his alleged purpose for inviting her to Maui was as a reward/celebration for her first modeling contract…BUT Q-Tip told her “You are living with ME now; you’re NEVER leaving Maui!” Dean passed her on to Mom because he did not want the responsibility/culpability. I gave my bedroom to Model…and slept in the living room. The day Model arrived on Maui we went for a walk and she said I was the only stable person she’d met on Maui…I did not correct her mistake because it was a comforting thought for her. I am ALLWAYS calm…but I can be calm and depressed, or cheerful, or amused, or annoyed, or on very rare occasions angry. She was pretty PLUS she dressed provocatively so it amused me that she got angry and said that any guy that NOTICED her beauty was a pervert…LOL When I met her my first impression was that she was 16 so she LOOKED more mature than she WAS. We went to an upscale mall to window shop AND she liked being noticed…as long as it was women not “perverts” She was ½ Asian so in the white mainland city she grew up in she was an exotic beauty…while on Maui she was exasperated to discover that her looks are commonplace Model soon moved in with Jerry because he had more money to take care of her, Jerry and Tyler amused her, and she enjoyed being with Jerry’s daughter…
7.   Surfer Girrl AKA Sonya: Described in “Genesis IS 100% Accurate”
8.   Pervert: Mom invited him to our home after she met him at a Nude Beach. The reason she invited him over for about a week was he claimed he could fix the software problems on her computer. He had NOT taken a shower in years because to him the ocean + scrubbing with sand was enough. He was a Beach Bum. He downloaded LOTS of free porn to MY computer…and spent hours/day reading fiction with hard core sexual elements in it. A dirty old man…but not HALF as bad as the one that gave me a ride when I was moving Phoebe’s bags to Jerry’s.
9.   Paranoid: listened to Art Bell religiously…and failed to get me interested in listening to Art Bell. Wore aluminum foil hats to protect him-self from mind control. Lived in a PACKED van…I was puzzled about how he could find room to relax and sleep. One day I was at the Coffee Stand and witnessed him walking around totally ignorant of the fact that he had a long string of toilet paper hanging out of his shorts…LOL
10.   Desburn: his eyes had many spikes around the pupils; genetic fluke OR custom contacts. He had a cynical and ironic sense of humor. Desburn and Martin REALLY disliked each-other…Desburn was one of the people from the Nude Beach that Mom invited over to be paying roommates; I was not there initially so I don’t know what Desburn did that pissed off Mom enough that she CHUCKED his computer and other possessions in the garbage and evicted him at 2 AM when he had ZERO money! Desburn said he would LOVE to have a Harley so he could go to quiet neighborhoods and REV the engine at 3 AM. He was one of the few full blooded Native Americans I have met. He came to Maui after he was traumatized by having ALL his relatives die in one car accident…
11.   Coffee Guy: when he was not running the coffee stand near the 24 hour Dennys he was giving snorkeling & diving tours to tourists. Cheerful, vibrant/energetic/hyper, friendly, funny. I went to the coffee stand regularly because Mom lost the cable due to VERY late payments, we did not have internet at home for months, and the coffee stand had free internet for paying customers…So I could spend ONLY 50 cents for the smallest coffee and use the internet and read the newspaper  Many people go to bars; the coffee stand was where I went to hang out when I did not want to walk the miles to the Library When I first started going there the internet usage was unlimited for paying customers; specifically because I ABUSED this perk by using it in excess the rule changed to a maximum of ½ hour per person per day.
12.   Martin: he showed me his ID from Checkoslovakia; he was pale, nerdy, and skinny when he had that picture taken vs. when I met him he was VERY tan, MACHO, muscular & ripped like a body builder WITHOUT needing to go to the gym…I was VERY jealous of the last item because I’m a hard-gainer  His Visa had expired months BEFORE I met him which was awkward for him since he regularly pissed off the Cops…and had to do LOTS of fast talking to remain on Maui! Martin LOVES Maui THREE times MORE than many natives that take it for granted; his GOAL is to become NOT just a US Citizen BUT also an accepted member of the Hawaiian Traditionalists that advocate independence for Hawaii FROM the USA. Martin ALSO pissed off Native Hawaiians with this goal since he is a Howlie; they had not kicked his ass yet because Martin is muscular, expert martial artist, macho, and perhaps most important is he would be admired by at least SOME Hawaiians for his adoration of Hawaiian culture. Martin apologized to me for having sex with Mom; this was baffling and very amusing because I am NOT nosy about mom’s choice of lovers…In the six months that I knew Martin he NEVER worked as far as I could determine…but always had money. He had found an abandoned Civic that was OLDER than me on a beach; he said I could use it IF I agreed to put a starter in it. Eventually I got the starter in; for 10 minutes I was unable to locate the second HIDDEN bolt holding the starter in place + it took me a few months to get around to buying a socket set. Martin slept in that car when he happened to be nearby & tired. I also slept in that Civic after  Mom evicted me; as Hippies are prone to saying “It had very good vibes”, it was full of crystals, holy nick nacks, and shells and it was comfy without making me feel cramped even though it was small Allegedly he was a male prostitute who would have sex with women OR men…not that I cared, but someone as MACHO as him being gay was an amusing thought Martin got pissed off for some reason and threw his wallet in the Ocean; he was sheepish when he retrieved it. One of the times that Cops tried to arrest Martin he jumped into the Ocean and swam to another beach. LOL Martin and Phoebe were getting along just fine when I left her Hotel room for a short while; when I returned she was scared and took me aside to say that Martin had raped her...I told Martin to LEAVE now; if I started a fight with Martin it would be foolish/futile since he could kick my ass while hopping and with one arm behind his back. Martin did NOT like being ORDERED to do something by me; he stomped around the room aggressively, but eventually left without a confrontation. My interpretation of what happened between Martin and Phoebe is that her Charismatic Personality seduced Martin THEN she switched to her Terrified Personality because Martin is aggressive.
13.   Philomena: a Christian Faith Healer that had a reputation in some circles as a scam artist. She prayed daily for 5 hours/day to benefit MANY people. Mom brought me to her because she wanted Philomena to pray for me also. Philomena and Mom wanted to found a non-profit Spiritual Retreat; Mom was TOO disorganized and Philomena had the scam artist reputation…SO this was highly improbable. I describe elsewhere WHY Philomena amused me
14.   Blondie: He was sixteen when he ran away from home…hitched about 2000 miles to LA and got on a plane to Maui. Somehow he ended up staying with Jerry. He was foolish at long term priorities; he seemed to just live for the moment without considering the future. Mom’s intuition informed her that Blondie is a reincarnation of a Soul that should have been her third son…but that was born to other parents because she had an abortion. Blondie & I were amused by this claim…BUT I believe in reincarnation and Blondie was born after Mom’s abortion. Who can PROVE Mom is wrong? Blondie became a small time drug dealer to fund his wondering around Maui. Blondie walked with me on one of my walking contemplations from Kehie to Paia & back…

Offline WHD

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #27 on: August 23, 2012, 08:57:48 PM »
RE,

I think Dirdy Birdy is your DoppleGanger.   :icon_mrgreen:

Offline agelbert

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #28 on: August 23, 2012, 09:11:13 PM »
Dirdy Birdy,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments,
My joke on columnar epithelium refers to certain types of human tissue. Epithelial tissue is the inner lining of an orifice, pipe or tube in the body. A vagina has squamous epithelium and the cells are arranged in diamond fashion, are very strongly joined and can take quite a beating.  :icon_mrgreen:

A rectum has columnar epithelium. Part of the function of rectal epithelium is removing water from the feces before defecation. During digestion, water helps metabolic activity but the body tries to take up as much of that water back into itself before ejecting the fecal mass in order to keep the body properly hydrated. Columnar epithelium has cells designed as millions of towers loosely connected that can soak up liquid like a sponge. The problem for the "anal delight" folks is that this type of issue is not built for penile or dildo thrusting movements and bleeds quite easily. The vascularization (capillary blood vessel interconnections between cell towers) is loose and easily torn or broken at many points. Anyone with hemorrhoids or frequent constipation has experienced anal bleeding. I imagine gays and wives of anal sex loving husbands experience it often! That's why it's easier to infect someone with a STD through anal sex than vaginal sex.

In regard to the two videos: The common thread is that our view of reality is radically changed in both of them. The first applies to physics and demands that we accept multiple or parallel universes and unquantifiable matter. This is heart attack stuff for materialists demanding that if something can't be measured, it's not there. The second demands that we accept that our country is run by calloused murderers and even our poor draftees in war routinely engage in the most ghastly horrors while they are in the wars. Apple pie and the moral high ground is revealed to be, not just a half truth, but a total lie! Now I understand why so many Viet Nam vets have committed suicide since they came back. I mean, what kind of a fucking ANIMAL do you have to be to call people you are killing with napalm or a girl you just multiply raped, subsequently tied to a tree, poured gasoline over, lighted on fire and WATCHED while she burned a "CRISPY CRITTER"!!? This was NORMAL in Viet Nam. I'm sure the same shit went on in Iraq and now goes on in Afghanistan. Knowing this requires, as the physics demonstration does, an acceptance that our view of reality was way off and we need to accept it and adjust to rejecting the bullshit version. Procrastination there is escapism. 

I looked up the Pandora's Star Commonwealth Saga. It's an interesting universe but I don't get the use of nukes when the wormhole and other fantastic technologies would have been more useful to selectively wipe the "enemies" out without destroying nature on the chosen world(s). I did enjoy the wikipeda synopsis though. I have read a lot of science fiction and find it quite enjoyable as a temporary escape from the human viper's nest we are forced to live in. One of my recent favorites was "Timeline" by Michael Crichton.

I remember the Sensei from the Mars terraforming novels. I consider it an honorific. thank you.  :icon_sunny:

I just read this:
Quote
Paranoid: listened to Art Bell religiously…and failed to get me interested in listening to Art Bell. Wore aluminum foil hats to protect him-self from mind control. Lived in a PACKED van…I was puzzled about how he could find room to relax and sleep. One day I was at the Coffee Stand and witnessed him walking around totally ignorant of the fact that he had a long string of toilet paper hanging out of his shorts…LOL

I am still trying to control my laughter. I'm glad I wasn't drinking coffee when I read it or I would have ruined my keyboard! I about fell out of the chair with the above. Thank you for sharing.   :emthup: :icon_mrgreen:
« Last Edit: August 23, 2012, 09:45:06 PM by agelbert »
Leges         Sine    Moribus      Vanae   
Faith,
if it has not works, is dead, being alone.

Offline Dirdy Birdy

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Re: Dirdy Birdy Chronicles
« Reply #29 on: August 24, 2012, 12:45:37 AM »
Due to your comment about anal bleeding; a NEW spec for my affrodesiacs is to HEAL anal injuries...since they would already be MAGICAL this is not a big change ;)
Your answer about Epithelium makes me GLAD I did not simply LOOK it up on dictionary.com or wikipedia; I LIKE your thourough answer ;D

Pandora Star novels; in the eventual sequal set a thousand years later they are STILL searching through the "RAZER STORMS" to find peoples' memory chips that record their ENTIRE personality so they can be ressurected...but most of them are underground + VERY fragile after all that time. RAZER STORM = a term from some Sci Fi novel I don't remember the title to; it refers to storms so bad that you HAVE to have life support to even walk around in them...REALLY bad storms :o Anyway, Neutronium Alchemist is another series of books by Peter F. Hamilton that I like; equally unrealistic and very over the top...both series are in a way like if the Star Trek Federation was DIFFERENT but equal to those civilizations; and got into massive genocidle conflicts.

Calling you Sensei is a gesture of respect; it normally is what a martial arts student says to their teachor/mentor.
But it in my mind is also like the first apprentice Druid in a thousand years that Atticus decided was WORTHY of teaching; she said it to him because he specifically did not want her to refer to him as a Druid or any type of spellcaster when in public. Atticus is described in the books in the series called "Iron Druid" Not Sci Fi, but the most awsome (to me anyway) Druid in Fantasy that I have read...he is like a Druid version of Harry Dresdon from the Dresdon Files. Atticus killed two gods I think so far; more to come since the NEXT novel has his reactions to Ragnorak...
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 01:44:59 AM by Dirdy Birdy »

 

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