AuthorTopic: HRC Says Goodbye  (Read 1548 times)

Offline Surly1

  • Global Moderator
  • Master Chef
  • *****
  • Posts: 15308
    • View Profile
    • Doomstead Diner
HRC Says Goodbye
« on: December 08, 2016, 04:29:22 AM »
Funny.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me
by Hillary Clinton


Hey America! Remember me?
You know, Crooked Hillary? Lucifer’s BFF? Benghazi with the good hair?
Well, you did it. You got rid of me. You don’t have to look at my pained smile or listen to my nagging voice anymore.
Congrats, everyone!
You put up with sixteen months of me lecturing you about dumb bullshit like, you know, policy ideas, and not being super fucking racist all the time. You watched three times on national TV as I had the nerve to make a man — a rich man — look foolish. Some of you even campaigned for me. Can you imagine? I made you campaign for me, instead of carrying the entire fucking country on my back in kitten heels.
Phew! Must have been really rough for you guys.



And man, if that was bad, think about the bullet you just dodged. You won’t have to put up with four or eight years of constant scandal investigations that turn up absolutely nothing, marathon hearings in front of House committees, attack ads that don’t mention a single policy idea I’ve proposed, and, fuck it, impeachment hearings, because let’s be honest, duh.
You knew that a Hillary Clinton presidency with a united Republican Congress meant nothing but deadlock, deadlock, deadlock. So you did the sensible thing and scrapped the Hillary Clinton presidency.
Well, full steam ahead, America! Godspeed and go fuck yourselves.
Go fuck every last one of you fucking pasty-white testosterone-brained reality-TV-popularity-contest shitheads.
I spent my entire goddamn life fighting for women and children, and it ends today. I’m going to a motherfucking spa.



Before I go, though, mind if I make a few toasts?
First off, I’d like to extend a hearty fuck you to the national news media.
This is for spending more time talking about my emails than all policy issues combined. This is for outsourcing your headline writing to a racist grandpa’s Twitter feed for a year and a half. This is for constantly saying I “am flawed” or “have flaws” …… motherfucker name one!!! My fucking charity that gives HIV meds to poor people? Are you for real with this shit?
And the Monday morning quarterbacks right now? Y’all need to sit the fuck down. You’re gonna criticize my campaign?? Bitch I won the popular vote and I was running against America!
I gave a flawless convention and three flawless debates. You idiots wanted a reality show and I gave you a damn reality show. Maybe we lost because you literally gave the leader of the birther movement a year and a half to come up with a counterargument to “I’m smarter.”



Well, now the president-elect of the United States wants to expand libel law and punish dissent. Sick click-through rates, though, guys!
Next toast goes out to all the young people out there — yeah, you crazy kids! Sup millennials!
I actually want to apologize for not being as hip and trendy as you wanted. That was my bad. Misusing emojis and coming onstage to a Katy Perry song? So embarrassing!
But like, just for future reference, what did you want from me exactly? I mean I was definitely willing to try a lot of things. I’m just not really sure how to “reach out to you about issues that affect you personally” and also not be a “dishonest shill pandering for votes.” Any pointers would be super appreciated next time!!
But seriously, no hard feelings, kids. I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna be the generation cleaning up this historic turd for the next half century.
Last toast: undecided voters. Can we have a word?
Ya really couldn’t piece this one together, folks? Too many pros and cons to sort through?



Honey, if you were undecided after the Mexican rapist speech it means one thing: You needed me to be perfect. You needed me to prove my case beyond a reasonable doubt, because the burden of proof is on whoever’s arguing that a woman could be capable of running the country.
None of you gave a fuck about my email server. None of you even knows what a fucking email server is or does. You were just waiting for any excuse — any excuse at all — to be like “yep, that’s why I hate that bitch.”
(Huge s/o to James Comey! Love ya bud!)
Okay, wait, actually, I have to spare some words for our fuhrer-elect. Then I promise I’ll get out of here.
Look. Donald. I can’t even really be mad at you. You’re an empty shell of a human with a heart of gold-spray-painted coal. All you wanted was a bigger podium where you could talk about your penis.

You don’t give two shits about politics/policy/other human beings. You just kept saying random shit until you got applause and retweets, and stuck with whatever worked. You gave the people exactly what they wanted. It just turns out what they wanted was for a white guy who inherited a bunch of land to erase the first black and first female presidents at the same time.
U! S! A!!! U! S! A!!!
Just goes to show: In this country, if you want something, and you work your goddamn ass off for it, you can get really close and then smile stoically while they give it to some rich guy’s son.



You know, back in 1965, I ran for class president of my high school and lost to a boy who told me, “you are really stupid if you think a girl can be elected president.” Well, I put in fifty years of tireless, grueling work, and now, at long last, that little boy has been vindicated.
Beautiful! It would bring a tear to my eye if I hadn’t taken a pill in the 90s that made me incapable of crying.
Nov 8, 2016: The day we all put aside our differences, defied the odds, and trumped that bitch.
I’m done. I’m so goddamn done. I should have been done so fucking long ago. But I kept going because I thought — I really, really thought — we could change.
Welp.
Goodbye forever, America. You don’t deserve me.
Now leave me the fuck alone while I walk my dogs in silence for the next twenty years.
"It is difficult to write a paradiso when all the superficial indications are that you ought to write an apocalypse." -Ezra Pound

Offline RE

  • Administrator
  • Chief Cook & Bottlewasher
  • *****
  • Posts: 36816
    • View Profile
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2016, 04:35:09 AM »
I can't say I will miss Killary very much.  She was a jerk.  Just because she was female and a Dem does not make her less of a jerk than she was.

RE
SAVE AS MANY AS YOU CAN

Offline Surly1

  • Global Moderator
  • Master Chef
  • *****
  • Posts: 15308
    • View Profile
    • Doomstead Diner
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2016, 04:53:59 AM »
I can't say I will miss Killary very much.  She was a jerk.  Just because she was female and a Dem does not make her less of a jerk than she was.

RE

That's just fine. Better the sober, rational solon you helped make possible, issuing angry tweets during his 5AM shit atop his golden throne, than a jerk.
Enjoy.

"It is difficult to write a paradiso when all the superficial indications are that you ought to write an apocalypse." -Ezra Pound

Offline RE

  • Administrator
  • Chief Cook & Bottlewasher
  • *****
  • Posts: 36816
    • View Profile
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2016, 05:05:42 AM »
I can't say I will miss Killary very much.  She was a jerk.  Just because she was female and a Dem does not make her less of a jerk than she was.

RE

That's just fine. Better the sober, rational solon you helped make possible, issuing angry tweets during his 5AM shit atop his golden throne, than a jerk.
Enjoy.

Never said I was a fan of The Donald. ALSO a JERK!  lol.

Who was Jerkier?  I got no idea there, but Trumpty-Dumpty won the Jerk Contest.

See how much your Vote matters? Vote for this jerk or that jerk, you STILL get a jerk running the show! lol.

RE
SAVE AS MANY AS YOU CAN

Offline K-Dog

  • Global Moderator
  • Sous Chef
  • *****
  • Posts: 2963
    • View Profile
    • K-Dog
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2016, 05:51:51 AM »
I am visiting Seneca Falls NY which has a major claim to fame as being the birthplace of the women's rights movement.  It is also where 'This is a Wonderful Life  was filmed.  Last night I learned that Presedent Obama came here to stump for Hillary during the election because of this women's rights connection and that there was a large crowd of Hillary supporters here for the event.  I was told that while it is true the area did go for Hillary, it is also true that the majority of the pro-Hillary crowd had like Obama, been imported for the cameras.

I'm surely mainstream news was aware of this situation but I don't recall anything about Hillary having staged crowds being pointed out anytime during the election.  I recall that finger being pointed at the golden boy all throughout the election.

It seems mainstream news was giving us fake news all along but apparently from their point of view fake news is still good news so long as it is the right kind of fake news.  As Hillary's loss came as a 'suprise' it fits that there may have been inequitable reporting by mainstream media all along.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2016, 05:53:50 AM by K-Dog »
Under ideal conditions of temperature and pressure the organism will grow without limit.

Offline Golden Oxen

  • Golden Oxen
  • Contrarian
  • Master Chef
  • *
  • Posts: 12264
    • View Profile
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2016, 06:04:25 AM »
I can't say I will miss Killary very much.  She was a jerk.  Just because she was female and a Dem does not make her less of a jerk than she was.

RE

True RE, Your objectivity on the matter of the lady is commendable.

Talking about jerks however, what about the DNC. :icon_scratch:

Where were these ass holes at putting the fucks to Bernie?

They could have rid once and for all the stench of the Clintons and their slimy cohorts like Podesta and the Huma Abedin from the party.  :icon_scratch:

While political analysis is hardy my game, it appeared so obvious to me that a Bernie for President and Liz Warren for VP would have been a DREAM ticket and would have given the Dems back their past legitimacy. Who knows? Just my two centavos.

Offline Golden Oxen

  • Golden Oxen
  • Contrarian
  • Master Chef
  • *
  • Posts: 12264
    • View Profile
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2016, 06:35:12 AM »
Quote
Goodbye forever, America. You don’t deserve me.
Now leave me the fuck alone while I walk my dogs in silence for the next twenty years.

Typical view of the disdain the evil wretch who entered the White House broke on con job land deals and left with 150 million that she was forced to report has for us deplorables.  Lord knows what she has hidden.

No Fucking Shame Have They. None. Not One Iota. Zap. Zero.


                                               

                                                   Fuck You Everybody, My Dogs are my new Concern Now.


Does anyone here notice a difference in attitude and character between these two??  Or is it just the geezer :icon_scratch: :icon_scratch:


                                                 

                                                      Despite Cancer, Jimmy Carter works on a Habitat for Humanity building site in Memphis, Tenn.,


   I'm an admirer of Jimmy Carter and his wonderful wife, and am awful proud a man of his character and respect for humanity was our President.  :emthup: :emthup: :icon_sunny:
« Last Edit: December 08, 2016, 06:37:05 AM by Golden Oxen »

Offline azozeo

  • Master Chef
  • *****
  • Posts: 8110
    • View Profile
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2016, 10:20:10 AM »
Thank you Oxie for this kind words about the peanut farmer from Ga.

I believe he was a peoples Prez...

The latest 2 offerings will get what they deserve.
The witch from Ar. got a house dropped on her ass called the Trump Towers.
All is needed now is the feet to roll up underneath the floor boards.
It will be interesting to see if justice is served on the Bush/Clinton cabal.

As far as Donald is concerned he will be granted a clean sheet of paper like the rest.
I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world.
You don’t know what it is but its there, like a splinter in your mind

Offline Golden Oxen

  • Golden Oxen
  • Contrarian
  • Master Chef
  • *
  • Posts: 12264
    • View Profile
Re: HRC Says Goodbye
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2016, 02:41:29 PM »
Thank you Oxie for this kind words about the peanut farmer from Ga.

I believe he was a peoples Prez...

The latest 2 offerings will get what they deserve.
The witch from Ar. got a house dropped on her ass called the Trump Towers.
All is needed now is the feet to roll up underneath the floor boards.
It will be interesting to see if justice is served on the Bush/Clinton cabal.

As far as Donald is concerned he will be granted a clean sheet of paper like the rest.

AZ, You have a most unique way of phrasing your statements, and they are as humorous as they are insightful.  ;D :emthup: :icon_sunny:

 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
9 Replies
1493 Views
Last post February 10, 2013, 05:08:07 AM
by Golden Oxen
5 Replies
1362 Views
Last post June 05, 2015, 09:33:22 PM
by Snowleopard
16 Replies
2004 Views
Last post September 01, 2015, 07:49:41 PM
by MKing